Great points. My one quibble is that I do think you can interpret some toxicity into the Ascended relationship, even if you pick only complimentary responses. For example, the "don't stray too far line," if your headcanon is that Tav and Astarion are mutually enjoying a power play, then that line is fine. But a lot of people get skeeved out by that line, because they, or their character, wants to see the relationship as equal. Same with the, "You await my command" line. Some (like me) think it's perfect. Others don't like it and find it indicative of potential very controlling behavior. BUT I do want to emphasize that even if there is toxicity, it doesn't make it an invalid choice for Astarion's story, nor does it let Unascended Astarion off the hook for some questionable behavior.
I think, all of Ascended Astarion's words are can be interpret in different ways, and I love it. "You may walk in the sunshine, but don't stray too far line". 1.Literally, since protection is not limitless. 2. Figuratively, i.e. don't stray from him plans. Or don't go against me. (Vampires, power-hungry creatures. And he's made a possible rival in you, and given sun protection you). "You will be surprisingly obedient." Likewise. Either we're on the same page, or I'll make you obey me. "You have it in you, too. You wait for my orders." Here I see the relationship dynamics. Or a kink reference. Now it's not me, it's you listening to me.
And on top of that, should we judge him harshly right after the ritual? He's up, he's emotional. He says a lot of things, but later, he calms down. Saying and doing (oh... kisses in Patch 6...) are different things. He offered an conversion, and exhaled if the PC agreed. If not, offended, but comes to apologize later.
Saying AA is going to be toxic and the further it goes, the more so, is like saying Spawn will always be obedient and good. It may or may not.
Is it controlling? Yes. Possessive? Yes. Is that the norm of the relationship? No. But, within the world and time frame where the action takes place, it is maybe normal. Is it an equal relationship? No. And I don't see equal in Spawn. Would it be an equal relationship with God Gale? I don't think so either. Not even with Will. If he takes his father's place, you'll be the same consort next to him. There's no equality. Liberty, my favorite argument is that AA is toxic. You've become a Spawn (or bride). What freedom. Spawns are bound to the creator. Brides are even more so, kill the bride, the creator will be screwed too. Of course he won't let go. We've seen and heard what Astarion told us about, fought Kasador who shouted "he's mine" at us, and still took the conversion. What freedom are we talking about? It's not in the game yet, but (if you leave with Karlach in Averno and watch AA's reaction to it, he says take a walk and come back to me).
