I really wanted to play the redeeming Dark Urge with the Ascended Astarion. I can't do that now, because when it comes to those kisses, it's going to ruin everything. I ridiculously skipped the DU in the first playthrough, considered him a future companion, that version didn't have an explanatory line yet (or I had a bug), and at the end of Act 1 before moving to the Shadow-Cursed Lands, I was concentrating on walking around wherever I was, peering into every nook and cranny and looking for where this dragonborn son of Bhaal could hide. I'm not very close to the idea of “canons” where you play either “good” and have to do this or “evil” and have to do that. The main reason to reject Bhaal for me (from what I've learned about the DU) is that moment when the Dark Urge can kill one's lover. I think I would hate this something that sits in my head trying to dictate such a thing to me, and would want with all my might to get rid of it, to defy it. No deity however good or evil would dare to dictate to my character. I think rejection of Bhaal for the DU can be seen not only as “ redemption” for the sake of some good or for the sake of the world, but also as liberation, something like, “ F**k you, Bhaal!”.
I think in this case, the DU might not be completely “good”, but help Astarion simply for Astarion's own sake, because he wants to. I also had Tav being chaotic, in general all other choices except Ascension could be classified as “good”, but in the process of passing she regularly did things that could be described as conventionally “evil”, harsh retorts where it was wanted, the periodic use of intimidation. I think in this case, the DU might not be completely “good”, but help Astarion simply for Astarion's own sake, because he wants to. Tav I had was also chaotic, in general all other choices except Ascension could be classified as “good”, but in the course of going through she regularly did things that could be called conventionally “evil”, harsh retorts where it was wanted, periodic use of Intimidation. Actions like killing Gandrell, intimidating Abdirak during torture, sending the goblin into the shadows, and all sorts of little things that don't seem to lead to any “evil” result for the game as a whole, but the character doesn't look too kind and naive, and even more so doesn't look like a person who will shake with fear on her knees in front of her beloved Astarion. Yes, with the modder's altered facial expressions, it does appear that Tav adores Astarion and happily plays with him in his new “quirks”, but only two of the three kisses have been corrected, and of course we need Larian to fix their “kissing fail” themselves.
Yeah, I'm really looking forward to the Astarion/Dark Urge romance. I was pretty sure I was going to start this game right away after the first, long and in-depth playthrough (the first playthrough always makes you want to see everything you can and get into every hole, every chest and closet), I didn't even bother restarting when I found out the DU was supposed to be me. I just really wanted to not roll back and see the story further. I barely finished the game with patch 5 in time to have at least one happy story in my memory. The DU option was canceled with patch 6, to go through to Ascension only to then be interrupted for who knows how long, or to get into those three domestic violence bubbles, it just seems like something pointless.
And yes, I really want to hug Astarion too, it's an outrage that I can hug people who are far from important to me and Astarion can't be hugged. And for Tav to not be a puppet during kisses, but to touch Astarion with love, the way it should be.
I'm not very close to the idea of “canons” where you play either “good” and have to do this or “evil” and have to do that. The main reason to reject Bhaal for me (from what I've learned about the DU) is that moment when the Dark Urge can kill one's lover. I think I would hate this something that sits in my head trying to dictate such a thing to me, and would want with all my might to get rid of it, to defy it. No deity however good or evil would dare to dictate to my character. I think rejection of Bhaal for the DU can be seen not only as “ redemption” for the sake of some good or for the sake of the world, but also as liberation, something like, “ F**k you, Bhaal!”. 
