Larian Studios Forums Baldur's Gate III Baldur's Gate III - Story & Character Discussion game gaslight on Astarion awful behavior

As for your last sentence, I'm a bit confused, maybe I didn't explain the sentiment behind that phrase well enough?
What this is tackling is the idea some people can have (especially if religious) that having gone through trauma has made you a stronger and better person, like it was meant to happen. And, from what I've seen (and I agree with them) a lot of survivors are staunchly against this sentiment, saying that their trauma only made their life worse and it wasn't some sort of necessary rite of passage that in any way proved them stronger or better. Hence, "trauma doesn't make you a better person".
Maybe this reddit thread talking about the same topic helps get it across? (Another serious stronger CW than the previous one for this link, folks, but I think OP's first post is more than enough to understand) https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/14ghe35/your_trauma_made_you_a_better_person_and_taught/

I do appreciate your answer, though I was not speaking out to a specific person (and I wrote this especially above my explanation), but wanted to add some of my knowlegde to the discussion of "it's an excuse to get less jailtime" "a lot of abusers claim" etc., pointing out, that childhood abuse can be an explanation for developing personality disorder - among other things of course. I will just answer to you, but we shouldn't go on in this heavier topic as the mod suggested.


Eh no. In no way I was referring my last sentence to you or the people you know or have talked with (I don't know any of them!), it was meant to be a general statement for prevention. Prevention is important. And I was not referring to any „Astarion is a child abuser“, it’s odd, I really don’t think he is. He might be antisocial toward a lot of people from different ages.


Yes. Being mean to other people or bullying others doesn't need to occur from a personality disorder, it can occur from personality traits or mental health issues as well. Being mean to other people or teenagers in school is an antisocial behaviour which can lead to depressions, anxiety and other mental health issues or illnesses, personality disorders etc. for the one, who got bullied, but if the "toxicity", how you called it, occur from - for example mental health issues, abuse, disorder etc. - I think it's important to provide psychological support not only to the victim but to both, the victims of the bully and the bully. It can help both.


It's good, that you could unlearn those behaviours, and to talk about these things with others can help, and it's good to engage in it, but others still might be not. So you said you had the support, I wish others, would get it too, and for that, I was giving the advice. Whether having a disorder or a mental illness or a personality trait or feeling insecure, etc. asking a professional could help. Also the „anger“ and the ‚everyone out for themselves‘ philosophy“ (how you called it) can be supported if the wish is there to unlearn it.
Of course, I really much understand that this "just" is a differentiation from Astarion's murderous actions, and that's just what you mean, but being mean to other teenagers (or adults), as mentioned, can lead to disorders or depressions or influence personality development in a negative way, especially (but not only) in children or adolescents. So the best thing we all could do, is to prevent or at least try..

Thanks for the explanation, now I understand what was meant. My opinion on this issue - I think it makes sense to separate the concept of “trauma” as something really serious, cruel, something that caused deep pain to a person, and this is very important, a person in this case really needs help, from getting “harsh life experience”, which is not a trauma, but which affected a person and, indeed, could make them stronger, smarter and in some sense “better”, i.e. contributed to the development of personality. I didn't have a “trauma” but I did have a “life experience” and I'm glad I did, so in this case it makes sense to separate the severity of a particular event in a person's life. Just like with the OCD you wrote about, there are different degrees of severity of OCD. I myself have OCD in a mild form, and it can even help in working with some sequences and algorithms, for example. I allow myself to use my sequences in everyday affairs, where following a certain order of actions can be logically justified, because you can't get rid of it completely, you can't think differently, the main thing is that it wouldn't interfere with normal life and wouldn't lead to illogical and time-consuming actions. But I really sympathize with those who have OCD in a moderate or severe form, it greatly interferes with a person's life, someone can't step on cracks in the pavement, for example, or washes their hands so many times in a row that it leads to skin trauma. Astarion, by the way, helped me with my OCD when he first gave me a good “ shock” with what I thought at the time was an abrupt change in behavior on the first playthrough. An abrupt change in behavior of a loved one without prior logical explanation is a great way to give me an “emotional critical blow”, but when I reconsidered and understood it, it gave me an important new experience, taught me to look more into the essence of things and human behavior, to understand better and feel freer in a chaotic world. Just like the kisses of patch 6 - there, of course, the emotional blow was much stronger, but it helped to uncover my own vulnerabilities and deal with them. My point is that some dose of stress and pain can be useful for personal development, if a person rethinks it, self-analyzes themselves and the situation, it helps to expand the possibilities of perception and thinking, to make stronger, just as sometimes it is useful to give yourself a challenge, doing something that is difficult or unpleasant to do. “What doesn't kill me makes me stronger” are beautiful words and my personal motto in life, but only up to some limit. After this limit, a person gets trauma, real trauma, and it is completely different. And it's important to separate the two. A person with trauma needs help. And as for what's below the level of trauma, art can help with that too, especially immersive games. In a safe environment, the player can experience some heavy emotions and deal with them. But using trauma in a story for a mass audience has to be very careful, so that in no way it provokes PTSD in an actual traumatized person who may be playing the game/watching the movie, etc.

Thank you for your bravery, and for choosing to share your experience.