Astarion does quite a bit explaining after you took him to that drow vendor in Moonrise and let him decide.
He also can be be pretty apologetic and shocked about the Gur children. And depending on what answer you choose, he will apologise to them.
But as I and many others here said, if you want him to fully explain himself, you are out of luck.
You can kill him on the beach or during the bite scene, if you really want without repercussion.
Pretty much my take as well. When I’m doing a good play through my character always kills the hostile Astarion when encountered. If I’m playing neutral he gets killed if he puts the knife to my throat otherwise I reject him as a companion and we go our separate ways. If I’m morally compromised and take him I’m really not of a mind to call him out as I’m likely of a similar mind.
I certainly don’t agree with the term gaslighting which implies Larian deliberately created the so-called lack of calling out opportunities. Thats just down to writing imitations/oversight in my book.
