I don't think it's completely unfair to compare the game to reality, because writers /do/ grab from something, but I do think it's unfair to think they're doing a 1:1 comparison, or think that fiction is so literal that if you like a morally questionable character (say, someone like Jaime Lannister) you, and perhaps their writers if they're eventually written in a better light, condone all of their actions as if they had happened IRL.
I believe the writers intentionally used language that evokes a specific type of trauma. Many forms of media address trauma, and different phrasings can evoke various emotions and memories. While I do not think Astarion's portrayal perfectly represents trauma, his dialogue was purposefully written in a specific manner.
