It's clear whatever lead writer at Larian sees the relationship as at least always moderately abusive, or this would never have been changed to the default. They probably added this to clarify how the player is meant to interpret the romance, but it wasn't popular with the hardcore fans. Said fans will be against it even being optional, as it's a reminder of the canon reading as determined by Larian, which they disagree with. If it's on the table, it might still be true, you know? Best to banish it into the depths of the abyss. It's a non-negotiable.
If a player character can *emotionally* react in two ways to the same scene, after all, it's only logical that both reactions be somewhat "valid". If both are valid, both are a reasonable response. What would it say about the romance if fear is a reasonable response? That's it abusive. It's natural some people will be vehemently against the inclusion. Having it even be optional is indeed a direct violation of their headcanon. A win-win for everyone is not reasonably possible. Even if you hide the trigger behind a one time dialogue choice, some people will be angry. The knowledge that's it's a supported reading of the same romance they're playing is not something they're able to ignore.
