It's clear whatever lead writer at Larian sees the relationship as at least always moderately abusive, or this would never have been changed to the default. They probably added this to clarify how the player is meant to interpret the romance, but it wasn't popular with the hardcore fans. Said fans will be against it even being optional, as it's a reminder of the canon reading as determined by Larian, which they disagree with. If it's on the table, it might still be true, you know? Best to banish it into the depths of the abyss. It's a non-negotiable.
If a player character can *emotionally* react in two ways to the same scene, after all, it's only logical that both reactions be somewhat "valid". If both are valid, both are a reasonable response. What would it say about the romance if fear is a reasonable response? That's it abusive. It's natural some people will be vehemently against the inclusion. Having it even be optional is indeed a direct violation of their headcanon. A win-win for everyone is not reasonably possible. Even if you hide the trigger behind a one time dialogue choice, some people will be angry. The knowledge that's it's a supported reading of the same romance they're playing is not something they're able to ignore.
When I want more toxic abusive reality in a fantasy to intraprehend romance, I intraprehend Spawn story that he's either faking or holding back his dark and he'll kill Tav in three years. This warning-threat from break up ways "I've sacrificed so much for you, you'll regret it". He's going to manipulate the rejection of the ritual so Tav won't leave him, it's creepy what other actions he'll take...
Realistic when you're trying to cure a manipulative narcissist.
But this is given only hints in the end Astarion was written as a character about "fun and darkness with him". Which fits the majority of the game lines.
You can consider that 18 lines for a game where Tav is not afraid of Astarion, and a concordant couple with him - that's how we should interpret this romance, its mood, since the developers wrote more lines for it.
We don't agree that kissing ignores most of the lines for playing as our characters along the path.
Larian's definite canon is that the spawn Astarion is laughed at while he burns in the sun, apparently he deserves such ridicule on how we should interpret this story.. But that doesn't fit with the fact that he didn't give any reason to be so cruel to him at such a hard time, after all, he was helping the team.
Either the reason needs to be revealed, though no, even with it the "good" characters stayed quiet.
As far as I understand this will be changed in patch 7.
Speaking of kissing.
I could have asked for a face neutrally cold for spawn after the kiss, pensive, "you're so very gentle, but I can't be relaxed yet since you're still just on your way to the light". "You can do horrible things and behave horribly, nobody heals that fast."
I don't think anyone needs that kind of mood in a kiss.
Or ask to reveal more about why the companions treat Astarion the way they do, more to show that he is still struggling with his fear and distrust of everyone when he sees the DU, to show that he lost the sun and what a hard sacrifice it was for him to refuse the ritual. But I'm not interested in the Spawn path as long as no actions in the game affect the 18 charisma dice.
You can do any action in the game, push Astarion to drink drow and still redeem him. There isn't a single flag.
Brewing a potion in this game requires more immersion than redeeming Astarion.
