As I said earlier, there are several dialogue options to roleplay being scared of Astarion and the sensible action is to break up with him. Astarion explains to you what you're getting yourself into. Tav being scared of Astarion and then asking for a kiss and being terrified of him every single time to the same degree doesn't make sense. If you're scared of dogs, do you go around petting them or don't touch them and try to stay away from them? If you're scared of mice, do you go to the pet shop and buy one for yourself? Even in a weird scenario where Tav was somehow scared of him and wanted to repeatedly kiss him regardless, their fear would get reduced after each kiss, since they'd know what to expect.
Let's not crawl down the rabbithole of why people might stay in abusive relationships and pretend to be happy, you don't want to be the one on the wrong side of that discussion.
What matters is that if OP wants to play their relationship this way and it doesn't affect how you experience your romance, then it doesn't matter what logic OP is applying. You can ignore it. I am ignoring a ton of stuff people are doing in their games right now that I think is messed up, out of character, dumb or whatever and I am not suffering.
