Let's be honest: people want to leave scared facial expressions not because it deprives them of something in their roleplay, but because it deprives them of using AA's kisses as an argument for him being a rapist and abuser who enjoys Tav's fear.
Yes, the worst thing is when people are sneered at and mocked by "not recognizing reality", "justifying violence", the options are many, but they are all disgusting.
The kissing poll that was sent to Larian already had a "provokes toxicity" point. Fact that it encourages this kind of rhetoric. Tav chooses Astarion, continues the romance, doesn't fear him, chooses to ascend, doesn't fear him, could break up but chooses consent and continues. Options and reactions have to make some sense. For example that reaction of the companions to the burning Spawn, it breaks the context, the story.
The fact of this fear on an intimate, consenting thing is not valid in the context of the story.
