I want Astarion to be left alone already.

As I wrote in the reviews for patch 7, kisses now have a smile, but there is also fear, for example, a kiss with a bite is practically unchanged, a kiss on the knees added a smile at the end, but when grabbing the neck, there is fear for a split second. It's just been done carefully now. You can imagine both a person locked in a relationship and a happy person who likes it. You can play a role. Just wait for the patch, please, you won't understand everything from the screenshots, the video would help, but I can't distribute it.
Perhaps when the patch is released, you will still disagree with my vision of the situation, but I still advise you to wait for the patch to be released, see what's there, and then express your wishes.