Short intermission about Haarlep and horror undertones in the game: I think the point of Haarlep is, that he is supposed to be unsettling.The game has a lot of horror undertones and I consider Haarlep one of them. The game is for mature audience and makes it pretty clear, that it goes into horror territory from the first cutscene on. It certainly is not for people easily rattled. The whole of act 2 is a lovecraftian nightmare. I as a horror fan love it, but I get, it isn't for everone. But the answer can't be to ask for every unsettling thing to get patched out, then we have a soulless story in the end. I think, Haarlep is in so far ok and even rewarding, that it is satisfying to put an end to him and his antics (though, I would prefer to have more of the Hearthflame sisters instead of a pointless npc, that is only there to creep us out) - you basically take back your atonomy over your body.
You have torture and people turned into eldtrich abominations in act 2 and I think, it is great to drive the point home, that we are playing against pretty severe odds. Astarion being desperate enough to make a deal with a devil, even after witnessing Wyll getting severly punished, Lae'zel throwing everything she believed in over bord, Gale defying his goddess, Shadowheart not only doing that, but go all in with renouncing her faith - all that shows people in extreme situations and it makes for great storytelling.

And I get, that discussing a kissing animation is more than just 'I want more sexy time'. For one group it's romance, for the other the exploration of a more personal type of horror - both is valid imo. I see it no different than the Halsin discussions: one group find him very sexy and refreshing, others downright creepy. I don't think, that one group is objectively more right than the other, because how you receive a story, is subjective. I always saw Abdirak as a good representation of healthy BDSM (friends who are into BDSM agreed to that), despite the fact, that the way he came to be in the goblin camp is fishy, others see him as downright creepy - both groups are right and I have no problem with people seeing it differntly.

"We are all stories in the end. Just make it a good one."

Doctor Who