Yeah, those drow twin scene seems to be the source of a lot of anger. I never had it, since I only ever chat with them about their future plans and why they left the Underdark. But I agree, that it is not ok to make fun of Gales trauma, while taking Astarions seriously. That scene could have been a character moment, if one want to go down that route.
Horror is actually a really great ventile for people with anxiety (like me). It's not a coincidence that many famous horror writers like Poe, Lovecraft or King suffer (or suffered) from anxiety. But the horror genre often has better stories too (sorry for ot).
As you said, Anska, Haarlep is a nice way to take back autonomy - I think, it can be especially gratifiying if you play redemption Durge, Astarion or Shadowheart (and Wyll and Karlach for slightly different reasons).
I think, it's ok to put trigger warnings on media, you might not expect something dark and disturbing, but if one played the first two BG games and knows a bit of mindflayer lore, you at least could expect body horror and psychological torture.
About that Ogress: I never talked to her - I normally try to kill Z'rell and her entourage at the first level of Moonrise before the attack. Didn't know, that she had something to say tbh.
