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Tav saying they want to break up in dialogue. It's the note on his response "No, I thought not. I don't want to hear anything like that from you again, my pet. You know I adore you terribly."

It says, to be precise: Very arrogant Vampire Lord Astarion can't believe you're trying to break up with him. and slightly abusive/threatening. Which of these justifies fear or dread during kissing? I still don't get it. He's just grumbling.

There's also dialog with the mortal Tav, who decided to break up with him:

Astarion: Perhaps we'll even meet again someday. The future is yet to be written, after all.

Not a threat, but not NOT a threat.

But these are still not overt threats with the intent to scare.

This is to say nothing of the dialog in the game, where the player himself can intimidate and openly threaten AA.

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The notes for the breakup attempt at the end of the game specify "Genuine laugh - the player can't get away from him. Not even if they want to." I think that counts as enjoying scaring Tav.

I don't think so. “You can't leave” and “I like scaring you” are not things of the same order. It's too much of a stretch. When you agreed to be his spawn, the condition was “together forever”, which he reminds you of. He thinks without irony that you're lucky he chose you.

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Yes, which bothers us, because we don't think it should be decided for our characters that they would make a sex scene face at their throat being grabbed out of nowhere when they ask for a kiss. We have explained why it can be unsettling, uncomfortable or even triggering many times in this thread.

And I say again, the AA I've known for 5 patches would just kiss your Tav gently, not kiss him against his will, seeing that Tav is scared.

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Yes, I know. My point is that it has been in the game and likely a planned addition for quite a while before the patch.

I don't know what you're talking about. What exactly was planned? Kissing Karlach was only in the spawn route. What does this have to do with AA? It's just that a lot of AA fans liked the kiss and so it was given to us.

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And I'm happy for you to have that in your game. I just don't want the same interpretation of the narrative to be forced into my story.

Forced upon you an interpretation that has been in the game for 5 patches in a row? I'm sorry, how did you play before patch 6?

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Because that story is more upsetting to some of us than the story that is upsetting to you. This is our point. We all have different triggers, this is ours. Both us and you should be allowed an option to avoid them.

How should kissing that you find offensive help you avoid the triggers? When a tender kiss is much more in line with the request? My trigger is rewriting a character on the fly.