(Warning: discussion of abuse and non-con)
I don't play smart Tav. I play lovestruck, weak and dumb Tav who experience abuse because they are so in love they can't walk out of this relationship.
Just like IRL, there are no vampire spawns here in the real world, but not all the people are just able to break up with their abusers. As I've already said, I'm not playing AA romance for any kind of happy ending. I'm playing it for what it is - a tragic romance and processing abusive relationship in a safe game environment. I LOVE AA romance EXACTLY because it's abusive and I can process my trauma in a safe game environment. It's actually healing for me. This is the same why the majority of BDSM players play scenes as violent and this is why you have a safe word - to indicate when you really become unhappy. Because usually, when you are playing a scene, you play it exactly as an abused and unhappy victim. Many people play AA romance exactly for the same reason why people pretend they are an unwilling abused victim during BDSM scenes - it's kinky and they want to experience such scenarios in a safe environment, when you can say your safe word any time you want. In the case of AA romance - you can shut your game down any time you want. It's pure violent fantasy. Like with Haarlep -it's definitely rape, because Narrator tells you Haarlep is influencing Tav's mind with his magic. But Larian has given you, as a player, a way out of it, so you still play it for a fantasy violent sex scene, and it doesn't mean it should be taken out of the game or can't be entertaining just because it's canon abuse. Many love this scene, including me, EXACTLY because it's canon abuse.
I don't understand what is so bad in asking Larian to provide us with an option to keep the old expressions. We are not asking to take your happy expressions away from you, we are asking for an OPTION. Because BOTH animations already exist. So Larian won't be reworking it again.
This is a really important perspective. Thank you.
I find the statements about BDSM concerning, this is a public forum and neutral people could get a complete wrong and negative impression of the BDSM community. I want to clarify, that these statements, if I understand it correctly, about BDSM are not true and I don't share them. To which majority of „BDSM players“ are they referring to? BDSM =/= Abuse, abusive
BDSM needs to be seperated from the term „abuse“. It can cause misinformation and harm to bring these two terms together, without making the distinction.
My answer is just to clarify the distinction between BDSM and Abuse and is made on the statements of the quoted forum member. For this, I am quoting their own words to not make assumptions or judgments about their motives. Their motives are theirs, I take them only by their own word.
(Warning: discussion of abuse, SA and non-con)
„Pretend they are an unwilling abused victim during BDSM scenes“
is not BDSM and doesn’t require an interest in BDSM.
People may find „unwilling abused" "unhappy victims“ in fiction or those, who pretend to be an "abused and unwilling", "unhappy victim" „kinky“, as you said, or "want to experience such scenarios in a safe environment", but that’s not BDSM. It’s - when seeing a fictional, non-consensual scene as "kinky" (in the terms of finding it sexy) - unconventional sexual interest (Interest in rape-oriented fiction or pornography = violent porn or a sexual interest in non-consenting persons, to clarify, it could also be only in fantasy or fiction and not in reallife), and falls under the terms paraphilic fantasies or sexual deviation. This specific sexual deviation (interest in non-consenting fictional characters or rape-orienteded fiction with unwilling abused victims) is but not a norm in BDSM, on the contrary it is found in all classes of the population.
It's pure violent fantasy. Like with Haarlep - it's definitely rape, Many love this scene, including me, EXACTLY because it's canon abuse.
People may do so and "love this scene", "because it's canon rape" - yes, no judge! But rape (also in fiction) is not BDSM. Lumping BDSM and rape-oriented fiction or (fictional) sexual violence / sexual assault together without a distinction can be harmful to the BDSM community, which is already misjudged and condemned by other people. It might be better to leave the term out. People maybe could better use the terms "non-con", "abuse fantasies", "rape-oriented fiction" or other terms, which are used in defintions or studies, but not BDSM.
I don't understand what is so bad in asking Larian to provide us with an option to keep the old expressions.
Several people asked this several times before, and several people answered already, also in the other thread, and I am afraid, we cannot help out with the understanding. It's Larian's decision. Everyone can only contribute their opinion and wish.
And mine is: I am against the suggestion.
„Abuse“ and a consensual D/s dynamic kiss should not be equated (that is only separated through flags or a toggle) - the overall sign of non-consent in a kiss, that uses D/s dynamics like kneeling, is disrespectful and harmful to several people, including those survivors of SA/DV, who are and were playing this route and came and comes along it unwillingly, when they asks for a kiss and have to see a depiction of SA, and are and were seriously affected by this. I don't find it appropiate but harmful when victims of SA, who identified themselves with Astarion and played this route, have to see SA and violence toward their own character unwillingly by the LI they like and feels compassion for, also due to his past. Larian can only do this (add and include SA to a romance) or that (not include SA to a romance). There will always be someone unhappy.
