Larian Studios Forums Baldur's Gate III Baldur's Gate III - Suggestions & Feedback Please let us keep our stories with Ascended Astarion

I don't play smart Tav. I play lovestruck, weak and dumb Tav who experience abuse because they are so in love they can't walk out of this relationship.
Just like IRL, there are no vampire spawns here in the real world, but not all the people are just able to break up with their abusers. As I've already said, I'm not playing AA romance for any kind of happy ending. I'm playing it for what it is - a tragic romance and processing abusive relationship in a safe game environment. I LOVE AA romance EXACTLY because it's abusive and I can process my trauma in a safe game environment. It's actually healing for me. This is the same why the majority of BDSM players play scenes as violent and this is why you have a safe word - to indicate when you really become unhappy. Because usually, when you are playing a scene, you play it exactly as an abused and unhappy victim. Many people play AA romance exactly for the same reason why people pretend they are an unwilling abused victim during BDSM scenes - it's kinky and they want to experience such scenarios in a safe environment, when you can say your safe word any time you want. In the case of AA romance - you can shut your game down any time you want. It's pure violent fantasy. Like with Haarlep - it's definitely rape, because Narrator tells you Haarlep is influencing Tav's mind with his magic. But Larian has given you, as a player, a way out of it, so you still play it for a fantasy violent sex scene, and it doesn't mean it should be taken out of the game or can't be entertaining just because it's canon abuse. Many love this scene, including me, EXACTLY because it's canon abuse.

non con and SA

violent sex and rape

Larian literally spells it out: the ritual will make Astarion the next Cazador. They make this point several times during Astarion's quest. People already pointed out here that Larian gives the player a lot of opportunities to break up with AA before tadpoles are gone and it's too late.

I distinctly remember getting scared faces during his sex scene as well.

„Pretend they are an unwilling abused victim during BDSM scenes“

People may find „unwilling abused" "unhappy victims“ in fiction or those, who pretend to be an "abused and unwilling", "unhappy victim" „kinky“, as you said, or "want to experience such scenarios in a safe environment", but that’s not BDSM. It’s - when seeing a fictional, non-consensual scene as "kinky" (in the terms of finding it sexy) - unconventional sexual interest (Interest in rape-oriented fiction or pornography = violent porn or a sexual interest in non-consenting persons, to clarify, it could also be only in fantasy or fiction and not in reallife), and falls under the terms paraphilic fantasies or sexual deviation. This specific sexual deviation (interest in non-consenting fictional characters or rape-orienteded fiction with unwilling abused victims) is but not a norm in BDSM, on the contrary it is found in all classes of the population.



People may do so and "love this scene", "because it's canon rape" - yes, no judge! But rape (also in fiction) is not BDSM. Lumping BDSM and rape-oriented fiction or (fictional) sexual violence / sexual assault together without a distinction can be harmful to the BDSM community, which is already misjudged and condemned by other people. It might be better to leave the term out. People maybe could better use the terms "non-con", "abuse fantasies", "rape-oriented fiction" or other terms, which are used in defintions or studies, but not BDSM.

„Abuse“ and a consensual D/s dynamic kiss should not be equated (that is only separated through flags or a toggle) - the overall sign of non-consent in a kiss, that uses D/s dynamics like kneeling, is disrespectful and harmful to several people, including those survivors of SA/DV, who are and were playing this route and came and comes along it unwillingly, when they asks for a kiss and have to see a depiction of SA, and are and were seriously affected by this. I don't find it appropiate but harmful when victims of SA, who identified themselves with Astarion and played this route, have to see SA and violence toward their own character unwillingly by the LI they like and feels compassion for, also due to his past. Larian can only do this (add and include SA to a romance) or that (not include SA to a romance). There will always be someone unhappy.

It looks like you don't understand the difference between calling something 'abusive' and playing a scene as a fantasy 'abuse'. ROLE-PLAY. Which are completely different things. When you kill someone in the game, it doesn't mean you kill someone IRL. This is not a place to educate me on the topic I'm quite familiar with. I didn't say that ALL the people play their scenes like that. But a lot of people I know, do. I DID'T SAY THAT THIS IS ALL BDSM IS ALL ABOUT!!! I used it as AN EXAMPLE. I NEVER said these are 100% the same things.

Sorry, but it's Larian canon already that AA is abusive. One obvious example: he won't let Tav break up with him after tadpoles are gone. There is no safe word in their relationship. He CONSTANTLY reminds Tav that they are his property and if they go with Karlach in the end it's only because 'I LET YOU', not because he respects them and they have their own free will. And if you play origin Karlach he is 100% obvious with his abuse from the very start. He is incredibly awful to her even when she says: 'I love you' to him. You can interpret it as you want, but this is an objective fact from canon and if you call it 'BDSM' then YOU are the one who is harming the reputation of BDSM community and you have no right to judge me after that. Nothing in AA/Tav relationship hints at a healthy dom/sub dynamic. It's literally written the opposite way. So you are not the one to educate me on BDSM topic, when you don't know such basic things about BDSM. You are the one being disrespectful and harmful to BDSM community now. I'm a survivor of SA, you don't tell me how I should feel about it. As a survivor of SA, it's much more triggering to me when I see an obvious abuse and my character acts like a happy fool, who doesn't understand that they are being abused. If scared faces are triggering to you, then simply choose the other option (which I'm asking for) and don't tell other SA surviviors how they should feel. It's really offensive