What personally bothers me more, is how the time of abstinence you have with Astarion is not actually framed as an enjoyable time during which the two of you get closer, it's only only ever framed in terms of loss when you activate special encounters such as the drow or Halsin. His two graveyard endings without sex are also considerably less affectionate than the one with, while skipping right to the bloody part of turning-night is a bit odd as a scene.
Imo, Naoise's rapture moment is an excellent spot of bliss without sex though, and the hidden highlight of the brothel.
This part about Astarion's abstinence is indeed very bothersome due to how it can be framed as a negative thing for Tav, I agree with you. Instead of it being a time in which you can explore other forms of intimacy and trying to get closer as a couple, offering him space to try to figure himself, reassuring him once again that you'll be with him even if he doesn't have sex for as long as he needs and that he's more than his body and ability to have sex, it's used as an excuse for more horniness and side affairs and honestly, it feels like the game is trying to compensate the lack of sex on his part with those things. A quite relevant example here is Halsin or the drows, as you pointed out. Tav can even tell Astarion the reason for going to Halsin is because they are frustrated about him not having sex with them anymore, and he immediately agrees. I find it very tone-deaf how this was implemented in regards to his romance (I don't think it fits his romance at all), but maybe this is a topic for another discussion.
