Larian Studios Forums Baldur's Gate III Baldur's Gate III - Suggestions & Feedback Romances Without Sex

As an ace person, this is something I would LOVE LOVE LOVE. I have sent feedback to Larian about before in the past. While I doubt they will make these changes now, I'd still like to voice my support again in case of a miracle... 🤷 The game is so inclusive. I really wish there was a sex-less route for players who might be asexual/take things slow/have complicated relationships with sex, etc. It would mean so much to me and others.

There's something similar in the game already if you play as Origin Karlach and romance Astarion. It shows that Astarion is open to a romantic relationship without sexual intimacy. But being Karlach isn't the same thing as being Tav/Durge. I don't want to have to play as Karlach and lose her as a companion, in order to romance Astarion closer to the way that would be my ideal. (To cover my bases, yes some ace people have sex. But that's not what this topic is about).

While Astarion might not be ace, I think he would benefit greatly from having an ace partner. When he confesses in act 2, he's very vulnerable and grappling with his relationship to sex and trauma. How healing is it for him to know that Tav/Durge loves him romantically, for who he is, instead of for sex? He straight up says he doesn't want to be seen in terms of sex, and an ace partner wouldn't see him that way! I and many other asexual fans related to him so much in that scene.

I haven't fully romanced anyone else other than Lae'zel, but I also think Wyll, Gale, and Karlach seem like good candidates for a sex-less romance.

The idea is interesting, but to do it in a finished game, with written characters? I don't think so. you need to make a request for the next game, in that case.

You can actually do a romance with Karlach and never sleep with her! There's an option designated for it, too.

It always struck me as so weird that Karlach of all people got an option for this because she is so vocal in her desire to touch, kiss and have sex that her romance seems very unappealing from the outset (at least for me) if sex isn't something you or your character are interested in. What personally bothers me more, is how the time of abstinence you have with Astarion is not actually framed as an enjoyable time during which the two of you get closer, it's only only ever framed in terms of loss when you activate special encounters such as the drow or Halsin. His two graveyard endings without sex are also considerably less affectionate than the one with, while skipping right to the bloody part of turning-night is a bit odd as a scene.

Imo, Naoise's rapture moment is an excellent spot of bliss without sex though, and the hidden highlight of the brothel.

PS: While Astarion's is the most famous, it seems all the companions have romance variations for Avatar-Karlach. YT recently showed me one for her and Gale which is a romantic spin of his friendship scene during which you just watch the stars with him if your engine hasn't been fixed yet.

This part about Astarion's abstinence is indeed very bothersome due to how it can be framed as a negative thing for Tav, I agree with you. Instead of it being a time in which you can explore other forms of intimacy and trying to get closer as a couple, offering him space to try to figure himself, reassuring him once again that you'll be with him even if he doesn't have sex for as long as he needs and that he's more than his body and ability to have sex, it's used as an excuse for more horniness and side affairs and honestly, it feels like the game is trying to compensate the lack of sex on his part with those things. A quite relevant example here is Halsin or the drows, as you pointed out. Tav can even tell Astarion the reason for going to Halsin is because they are frustrated about him not having sex with them anymore, and he immediately agrees. I find it very tone-deaf how this was implemented in regards to his romance (I don't think it fits his romance at all), but maybe this is a topic for another discussion.

!!! I had no idea you could do a sexless romance with Karlach! That's awesome. It is surprising, but I hope it's positively or even neutrally framed by the game. For some reason she's the one companion who has never been flirty with me, lol. I will have to step up my game.

I agree that I don't like how Astarion's abstinence is framed as a negative thing for the player. It is very healthy for him at that point in his healing, and it doesn't bother me one bit. I found it touching and it made me really happy, in fact.

I also find it odd that he's OK with the player hooking up with Halsin when the explicitly stated reason is lack of sex. Like, wouldn't that be hurtful to hear when he's clearly insecure about this? I can believe Astarion is open to poly in general, but that specific situation is questionable.

It's positively framed, yes!

Karlach's early romance trigger is apparently bugged at the moment, so you can currently only start the romance at the party. I think, medium approval is enough. If you don't have any romances going, she'll be hitting on you pretty hard. If you already have one romance going, you have to chat her up. If you already have two romances going, your dance card is full and you cannot romance her. At least that's my experience, it might be wrong.

I am not sure if this derails the purpose of this thread too much but I would be very curious to read, what people would want from such a sexless romance or one that is not focused on it - which I personally find way more important.

I've played Wyll's romance with dark urge, I don't recall all the details but I think it can be played with no sex happening. There is only a dancing scene in act two, and in act three you can tell him "not yet", and that you want to wait.

Ah, good catch. My bad for not bringing that up as well.

It really sounds like I should shake things up and try different romances at some point.


I would like any scenes that depict close emotional and/or physical intimacy without sex. For example cuddling, spooning, enjoying hobbies together, having deep and lengthy conversations (about things other than peril). Stuff like that is what I envision!

Have you seen Naoise's scene if you have control of Minsc when you talk to her? It's hilarious. I detest a lot of the brothel content, but I like Naoise's scene, I love the cat, and I have a soft spot for Sauceman Chorizo. Poor guy just wants to cook without being propositioned by confused patrons.

I honestly think you'd enjoy Karlach's then. It ticks a lot of these boxes.

Ha, yes I have seen that one on yt. As much as I don't like Gale's scene with the twins, I do like the dialogue you can have about the whole situation with him now that the player dialogue has been modified. It helps to put some things into perspective and makes me appreciate him even more - especially if you chose the none-astral variation in act 2.

!!! Oh dear, then she's at risk of becoming my new favorite... It's too late for that! My home is already filled with Astarion merch! Lol. But thank you, that makes me look forward to romancing her whenever I feel up to starting a new game.