The biggest problem for me was that they changed the Ascended Astarion. So I don't agree that I'm being hypocritical to any degree when I oppose allowing other players to react to kisses with fear.
Patch 6 kisses themselves aren't non-canon, but expressions of fear definitely are. Because in the case where Tav asked for tenderness, Astarion was gentle.
They didn't change AA with Patch 6 at all. Again, him refusing to let Tav go was always there in the end. When they released the epilogues, they added AA refusing Tav freedom once again. But fans were okay with it and didn't ask Larian to get rid of it. And also saying that abuser can't be gentle sometimes is a problematic thing to say. His gentle kisses prove nothing, because they don't erase times when he isn't gentle. Him abusing origin Karlch just because she can't be turned, was ALWAYS there. They never changed AA's personality. Even with Patch 7 changes, all they did was changing Tav's expressions, not his.
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give me the player desperately asking other companions for help at the party (and either being stopped via compulsion or the companions agreeing to help off screen)
Astarion walked the city of Baldur's Gate during 200 years. If he could have asked for help, he would have done it multiple times. It's obvious that AA compels Tav not to tell anyone at the epilogue party anything that can turn companions against AA. Just like Cazador ordered Astarion not to ask for help, while he was seducing his victims.
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Each character reacts to AA and Tav's relationship according to their worldview. That doesn't prove anything.
Yes, it doesn't 100% prove anything, but obviously, companions aren't written as fools. If they are concerned, this means they have their own legitimate reasons for it. Which means that the player has total right to have the same interpretation and opinion as they have. So you really-really better not tell other people that AA 100% wasn't written as abusive and that we have no right to ask for an option to choose. Our request is just as valid as was yours. Saying that only your RP is valid and should be canon is just double standard.
