But he really isn't ab**e. Astarion just reacts to the player/Tav's actions. Tav is the initiator of the conflict, always, Astarion reacts to it, gets angry, offended, etc. Like any other character. He himself is never the first to harm Tav. By the way, if you take spawn and break up with him, especially at the end, he will behave so viciously with Tav. Does this mean that he is ab**e? I don't think so, just like AA. This is just a reaction to the fact that the person he trusted leaves him, condemns him, etc. These are obvious things. Everything else that Astarion is toxic, for example, is on the conscience of headcanons.