Spawn himself says he "Wanted to be just like Cazador". He confirmes it himself. And I have my right to believe him, because nothing indicates he might lie, because he is happy and grateful to Tav in this moment.
It's your right to perceive the plot only through what the spawn says. But he does not have omniscience of the plot and his words are nothing more than spouting morality. Perhaps he wanted to be as powerful a lord as Cazador. You may think that's something terrible, I don't. But that doesn't mean he wanted to be as sick sadistic. Much less does it mean that he actually became that way.
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It has eveything to do with kisses, because kisses is a part of romantic relationship. And him refusing to let Tav break up with him is also a part of their relationship.
Just because AA won't let you break up with him doesn't make him a physical abuser by default, when his intimate scene was described quite differently. That's an oversimplified view. You're only trying to tie these things together because you feel like it.
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Even without the devnotes, you can't break up with him after tadpoles are gone - this is a fact from the game.
However, in the same epilogue in the same dialogue, it's not about torture, it's about power and pleasure. There is no narrative of torture.
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If you consider this as fanservice, then I have my right to consider Patch 7 happy expressions to be fanservice too. Especially because it wasn't like that from the start and Larian's original vision was scary faces.
Larian's original vision is a script that describes everything as voluntary and reciprocal. And it's been there since the game's release.
