It doesn't contradicts his character at all. Ascended Astarion is open about wanting to make his consort happy and give her what she wants. What if his consort is the more dominant one? It makes perfect sense especially for Dark Urge. I don't like that you're implying flipping the roles would somehow make it not consensual. Connecting being dominant to being the same thing as sexual ab*se is wrong. If you're saying being in the dominant role is abuse, then is Astarion is abusing Dark Urge right now? Come on.
Astarion experienced two hundred years of slavery, torture and humiliation. The last thing a loving partner would do is try to dominate someone with that kind of trauma (through intimidation, yep). Intimidation and consent, in my opinion, somehow don't go together. Even if we imagine a situation in which Astarion could agree to this (which is unlikely, Astarion is unlikely to want to kneel in front of anyone again), he would feel bad in this kind of “romance”, and inevitably triggers that provoke trauma. What Astarion says about wanting to make his consort happy and give her what she wants is yes, there are certain inconsistencies at play between those lines and the lack of option to not kneel and opt for, for example, classic romantic kissing. Of course, it would have been better if Larian had made two lines - one for those who like the D/s romance and want to be submissive, and a second line with classic romance. As it stands, there is nowhere and no way in the game you can tell Astarion that the D/U doesn't want to be submissive, those lines simply don't exist. You automatically sign up for it in the conversion scene when you kneel after passing the check (the only check in the entire game that yields no results and no additional lines) and agree that “you like degrading yourself”. It's not Astarion putting the DU into submission, it's in the game script that any partner of the Ascended Astarion is a submissive. And Astarion, for his part, is sure that the DU enjoys it. For interest's sake, you can just look at this not from your character's eyes, but from Astarion's eyes, seeing from the outside what lines and reactions are available to the DU, what Astarion hears and sees. Kneeling the DU was the romance author's decision, Astarion would have acted differently if there was a chance to talk to him about it. But Astarion himself is not, in my opinion, a character that is acceptable to dominate. Maybe softer options, elements of possessive dynamics, without humiliation, might appeal to him. Grabbing and pulling him to you for a kiss, or a hug, a firmer and stronger hug, so that you literally cling to him, that might be passionate and appropriate, but definitely not knees. His past and his injuries should not be forgotten. And in terms of other companions, I think Halsin would be a good fit as a submissive, he's pretty easygoing about various sexual games. I am in no way associating domination with sexual violence, I don't think it's acceptable to do that with a character who has experienced trauma, especially through intimidation. With someone else, without that kind of trauma, yes, it can be sexy. And Astarion doesn't force DU, DU does it completely voluntarily. It could be said that the romance scenario forces the player to play that way, the plot offers only one specific rigid framework, with no possibility of other roleplay, but Astarion himself, in any case, doesn't force anything. And at the very least, for such a dynamic in a story, there should be full dialog with discussion, not intimidation. Yes, the author hasn't done that for the player, and you can't discuss anything with Astarion, so the player may get the false impression that Astarion is abu*sing the DU.
