Larian Studios Forums Baldur's Gate III Baldur's Gate III - Story & Character Discussion All the things we want to chatter about Astarion & other stuff, without hijacking another thread :)

“Meow, and that boar's leg is for me! I see you're quite good at welcoming guests, Lord Astarion! And what an exquisite scratching post...” The cat sat on Astarion's shoulder and glanced from the roast boar on the table to the luxurious couch covered with scarlet velvet, but in the end he made up his mind, preferred the food and jumped on the boar with a predatory rumble. Half an hour later, Astarion discovered that the black cat lying on the table had a very soft white belly... “I haven't surrendered... Purrrr... I just... I just... I can't move... The boar is too fat... Such an opponent is not easy to digest... Purrrr...” The cat struggled to maintain his dignity and contain his purring while Astarion, who had always loved cats, exploited the helpless state of the overfed cat by stroking his soft fur and looking out the window, watching Junior and Sceleritas playing in the garden with a slight smile.

Yes, Sceleritas seems unable to control his jealousy! But really, the intelligence of those townspeople on whom his plan worked is hardly higher than that of the notorious goblins, if they went with torches to the castle of a powerful vampire, so it won't be hard to deal with them, Sceleritas miscalculated a bit! And looking good Astarion wants at all times, at all hours of the day and night (and he definitely manages it).

Meanwhile, on the outskirts of town in one small house...

- Hey, wife, what's that noise? Where did our neighbors go with torches? They're probably drunk again, they're going to get into our pigsty again, I'll smash their faces in! There's dry manure there, I'll shove this torch in one place before they start a fire...

- Quiet, quiet, there's a fight against some vampire... Like, a vampire in the castle, evil, stuff like that... Go to sleep, we have to get up early tomorrow...

- What vampire? That Archduke Ravengard, is he? Because he's a bloodsucker who raised taxes!

- Nah, it's not Ravengard, it's this, what's-his-name, Astarion...

- What, are we paying him or something?

- No, we don't pay, he's not an archduke... Well, like, vampires kill people, stuff like that. Go to sleep, I'll have to bring a rooster to your ear again tomorrow, you won't wake you up...

- Killing, you say? And they're gonna kill him?

- Yeah, what's it to you? Are you going to bed?

- I have to save! I'll be right back, honey!

- Who are you saving, you fool! Go home now!

- Like who? To save the neighbors' potatoes from the barn! They'll be eaten by a vampire, but what about the potatoes? Should it be lost? It'll rot away for nothing!

So city life after this uprising will be back to its usual peaceful routine pretty soon...

The first thing I thought was "Hey, isn't that Gandalf and Frodo over there?"

[img]https://i.imgur.com/dXPzYU7.jpg[/img]

Astarion Junior had a mouthful of candies and was trying to chew them with a serious expression on his face while waving to his father, who was watching him from the window. Astarion Lord grinned at his heir's chocolate-stained face and waved back. The cat fluffed himself up, got to his feet, shook himself off, and climbed onto Astarion's shoulder, clawing at the fabric of his luxurious camisole. Catleone made an attempt to clean himself (a cat who rejects washing after eating, as everyone knows, is instantly stripped of all feline titles and ranks, becomes an apostate and a heretic in his own eyes, and Catleone, of course, realized the importance of this ancient ritual), but the back paw of the huge cat slipped treacherously off the Lord's shoulder, leaving small designer scratches on Astarion's camisole. Astarion nobly pretended not to notice the clumsiness of his furry companion, put up a hand and returned Catleone's hind paw to a steady and appropriate position. Sceleritas looked through the window at this point and Astarion grinned predatorily as he caught his gaze. The cat stopped cleaning himself and turned his head in sync with Astarion, his large yellow eyes with vertical pupils looking at Scleritas as if he were prey.

- How much grain do you have in your barns, Lord Astarion, if the rats are so big in the yard? - The cat meowed, looking at Sceleritas. - Or is it your pet that no one petted because of its ugliness and it started killing?

- This is Sceleritas, servant to my beloved consort, Bhaal's daughter, and an extremely annoying nuisance. - Astarion snorted contemptuously. - Look, my furry friend, no matter how he strokes you, you have no idea where he's been picking with those hands...” Astarion contemplated the expression of utter contempt on the cat's face after his words with curiosity, finding it somewhat satisfying that finally someone shared his irritation.

- He can pet me twice in his life, once with his left hand and once with his right... - the cat hissed. - Uh, ahem... - after a while the cat fidgeted on Astarion's shoulder. - Where is the cat's restroom in your castle?

- The restroom? - The Lord raised an eyebrow and his expression became ironic, with a hint of amusement. With the cat on his shoulder, Astarion swung open the door to Sceleritas' room. - Perhaps this could be a good place for a cat's restroom? What do you think, my predatory pet?

- Dignified, dignified... I approve. A decent sized cat litter box with a pillow that can be ripped up afterwards... Purrr... A moment of privacy, my Lord...” The cat jumped off Astarion's shoulder and straight into Sceleritas' bed and began fiddling with the sheets with his paws.

- Of course. You can find me in the throne room. And soon I will introduce you to the most beautiful woman on earth, when my consort returns from shopping... - Astarion closed the door to the room, setting the cat aside in solitude. His expression softened, and he smiled softly at his thoughts. He walked into the throne room, but changed his mind about sitting on the throne, looked out the window, took the form of a bat to cover the distance faster and flew to Figaro's store, deciding that he should make sure that his beloved didn't have to carry alone the mountain of dresses she would surely buy there.

In the morning, Dark Urge woke up to a feeling of heaviness and vibration on her chest, as well as the fact that there was cat hair in her nose and it was necessary to sneeze. “Who's purring in here?” - Dark Urge said in surprise, sneezing and opening her eyes. The huge black cat that had been snoozing on her chest opened his yellow eyes, stretched, rested his front paws on the DU's face, and yawned, opening his mouth wide. “Who's purring? You, of course!” Replied the cat, settling back down and wagging his tail. “All night you purred so hard, I couldn't sleep in the next room. No, I get it, a handsome guy like me also had all the cats purring, but not that much, not that much...” A slight note of envy flashed in the cat's voice. “How does Astarion manage to spend so long... scratching behind the ear?” The cat looked away thoughtfully, lifted a hind paw and began to lick himself, continuing to sit on Dark Urge's chest and not waiting for an answer.

"I think we need to clarify something here... Cat" the Dark Urge's voice became a lot deeper and there was a monstrous gurgling sound as an undertone. The index finger of her right hand became the Slayer's claw. The claw gleamed a deep black in the morning sun and one would think the room had filled with the stench of old rotting flesh. "It's just one of my claws...cat. The Lord loves it when I touch him gently with it." She gently strokes the cat behind the ear, and it immediately begins to purr and stretch towards her. Suddenly the claw slides down to the cat's neck and the Durge's face darkens. "But I also kill very quickly with it and believe me cat, you never want to see the body that belongs to this claw. So ... be a good cat and hunt a few little things. Never sit on my chest again or come too close to my face with your flea-infested fur."

Full of respect, the cat quickly jumps down from her chest, runs to the Lord and nestles against his legs. "Isn't the cat a cute new pet, darling?" He picks it up and puts it on his arm. "Not a horrible thing like Sceleritas. I still don't understand why you keep him?"

Sceleritas seems to be listening at the door and says loudly "I don't understand why you keep the white curls either. I can't say enough about how good Lord Gortash would look next to you."

The cat hisses, Lord Astarion opens the door and says "Come on, catch him" and the cat jumps away and almost at the same time the sounds of fighting can be heard. Lord Astarion closes the door and smiles. "Do I smell the scent of rotting flesh here?"

- Yes, I feel it too... Did Scеleritas eat a lot of beans? - A little bat flew in through the open window, made a few circles around the room and landed next to his mom on the pillow. - If anything, it wasn't me, I didn't summon ghouls. Not at home. And no ghouls. And I didn't summon any. And the priest of Kelemvor is in the graveyard yelling for nothing because she's hysterical. The city council's personnel policy leaves a lot to be desired... And where's my owlbear-shaped backpack?

The bat turned into a boy, jumped off the bed, ran up to his father and clung to his camisole.

- Where's my backpack, Dad, haven't you seen it? - The child's big ruby eyes, with their trembling lashes and tears ready to spill, looked straight into Astarion's soul.

- Kid, no, I haven't seen it, I'll buy you a new one... - Astarion stroked his heir's head confusedly. - What about the graveyard and the priest of Kelemvor?

- You didn't see... - Astarion Jr. was clearly no longer interested in the fate of the city's graveyard, the notes of real drama could be heard in his sad voice.

- Mommy, I lost my backpack!!! - The little boy ran up to Dark Urge, the expression on his cute face reflecting all the sorrows of this mortal world. - Lost it!!! Where's my backpack?! I don't want a new one, I want the old one!!!

The child's loud cry drowned out the screams of the fighting cat and Sceleritas outside the door. Astarion clutched his head. Seconds later, the clinking of shattering glass, falling paintings, deafening furious meowing, and Sceleritas' swearing yet distracted the heir from his grief. He looked curiously at the door, interest displayed on his face, he took a step towards the door, but... “My son, you must learn to prioritize, you can't have everything at once...” Astarion Jr. remembered what his daddy had told him when he had tried to simultaneously climb onto his daddy's throne a week ago, stuff his mouth full of candy and brag about how his fangs had grown. He took in a breath of air, stomped his feet, and drew the attention from the disaster outside the door to himself.

- My backpack!!! Where is it?! I don't want it!!! I want it!!! Mom, find it!!! Daddy, buy it!!! I don't want the old one, I want the new one! No, no, no, no, I want the old one!!!! A backpack!!! Owlbear! It's mine! Where is it?!

The smell of rotting flesh in the room was no longer a problem. It was the last thing the young parents were interested in at that moment.