Update: Got an email from Larian saying my graphics card wasn't up to snuff.
Reminder that my graphics card is NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4070 Ti
That combined with basically no troubleshooting I've done working makes me wish the game crashed a lot sooner than 10-20 minutes on average so I wouldn't have passed the Steam refund mark.
What?! It obviously is: the minimum spec is Intel GTX 970 or AMD RX 480. I've run four playthroughs with no crashes on an RTX 4060.
