Erm, you're the leader because you are the player.
No - I’m the leader because I make decisions and take responsibility.
And yea the group is chaotic and undisciplined because they all have a heavy backstory. Shadowheart hates Gith'yanki at the start. Wyll is on a quest to kill Karlach. We have a vampire, a once archmage demoted to lvl 1 wizard with a bomb in his chest who needs to feed on your expensive magical items. Yes that's certainly the crew that will make an orderly group. No reason for conflict at all.
They can be chaotic and come from any background - that's fine. But there should be progression throughout the story. They should grow beyond themselves, building trust, friendship, support, and mutual respect over time.
If that's what you expect, I understand you don't like the game. But it's not because the game is bad. It's just not your thing.
If you enjoy permanently aggressive, selfish companions, then yes - BG3 has a lot to offer.
I hope you find one that fits your tastes better.
It fits my taste just fine - except for the lack of mentally attractive female companions I could romance.
