Erm, you're the leader because you are the player.
No - I’m the leader because I make decisions and take responsibility.
You have the power to make a lot of the decisions you mentioned above because you are the player. As the player you can download mods to give everyone the pusheen pyjamas they deserve or dress Scratch in a dragon onesie, as the player you can respec Shadowheart into a druid and decide which strategy to apply in fights or which ability to use each turn.
Your character otoh just kind of got the leader-roll (also because squiddy probably thought they were easy to handle) and I don't feel it is this big of a thing. Before player prioritisation was pushed so hard, you didn't even have to have them be the party face, so some other character could do all the talking and deciding. While the group does grow together, they just always stay a slightly chaotic bunch with their own agendas and interests, who never develop a cult like obedience to the player character. Just not that type of group.
