You have the power to make a lot of the decisions you mentioned above because you are the player.
Why is everyone so fixated on the idea that I'm not a leader just because I'm a player? By that logic, someone born into royalty wouldn't be a legitimate king - since they inherited the crown rather than earned it. It doesn't matter how I entered that world - the point is, if I don't act, nothing moves. If I don't organize and make decisions, everyone will stay near their tents in the camp forever.
Would the game really have Lae'zel declare "We're all going to the Creche. Anyone who refuses will be kicked out (and the game will end)" - that would make her the leader. But there's no such mechanic - so the leader is me. I'm the one who decides whether we go to the Creche or skip it. She has no right to demand anything from me. Any reasonable person knows that something is better than nothing. And if she insists on getting everything her way, she'll end up spending the entire game in camp while I completely ignore her (that's what she deserved in my next playthrough). Which makes her an aggressive fool - unable to cooperate with others to achieve the best possible outcome for herself.
