I agree with the OP, they have a point. But i think the problem stems from the fact that there just isnt much unique dialogue for when you have exceptional relationship or the character is your romantic partner - there should be unique options and unique lines but there arent. So Shadowheart treats you the same way in the Nightsong encounter whether you have 50 approval or 100 approval, whether youre just friends or a romantic partner. It's abit disappointing tbh, there are a lot of permutations for events that are far less important, there shouldve been more permutations in the instances OP is talking about too. So its not clear if writers even thought of these situations because its not reflected in the available dialogue options and permutations.
So yeah, its jarring that Shadowheart would say that she "step over your corpse" even if you romance her with max approval, but the answer is clear - she wouldnt have said that, they just didnt write the unique dialogue to reflect that.
