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but I didn't find anything jarring about it in my first and second playthrough of the game.

well yeah because you didnt pick the options that would make it jarring and reveal the issues and lack of reactivity. Just because you picked the ideal options to lead to most optimal result or just picked only thinking about Shadowheart (and not the innocent woman) doesn't mean there isn't an issue. She says NIghtsong's fate is her's to seal, but is that actually true? The moment its revealed that she's an innocent victim then it stops being just about Shadowheart, she has no right to Nightsong's life.