It's far too easy in Baldur’s Gate 3 to end up going down a romance path with another character without ever knowing that’s what you are doing. and that is really problematic. It's a problem with a lot of dialogue, not just romantic, because you can't tell the tone of an option based on text. Was I making a joke, or is this supposed to be flirty, am I being nice to a friend, or will am I trying to get in their paints? All these characters are adults, there is nothing wrong with having someone go 'hay, are you interested in more than just friendship? because I'm cool either way.' and just giving the player a choice here.
There are several problems with how romance is approached in BG3, but the worst is that it makes people feel out of control. The central theme that makes games stand out from every other media type is control, and with this we don’t have it. This can throw people out of the moment, especially as in several of the ‘romance paths’ there are no easy ways to let the person down. Its like, you were building a friendship and looking for lore in their past, but suddenly you have to be a total asshole because the game thought you were trying to get in there pants. When you weren’t.
In some cases this is much worse. While its antidotal I’ve heard several people say how uncomfortable Wyll’s ‘romantic dance’ scene makes them sense it caught them totally off guard, and as they were playing themselves they didn’t feel comfortable being an asshole or going through with the scene. For women who’ve personally experienced men assuming that just because they’ve been nice they deserve sex, this is a nasty part of the real world they don’t want in their games. Or at least, many of them don’t.
For me, its been really bizarre, as I’m Ace. As an Asexual person I’m nearly always blindsided by the romance in this game. And while I’m not bothered by sex like some, I often had no intention of dealing pursuing a romantic relationship with anyone. While such aggressive behavior from a character like Lae’zel, having that happen from everyone is clearly far too much.
All this could be made much more appropriate by simply doing one thing, giving us clear dialogue choices clear. This way we don’t stumble onto an option we don’t want. More than that though, characters like Lae’zel could be made much more approachable by giving her a friendship/romance option that is clearly marked so that we can learn about the character without having to pursue a relationship we don’t want.
Personally I kind of like Lae’zel being the start of the relationship, but not only is it not for everyone, I’ve heard of multiple people who don’t want to play BG3 simply because all the romance options happen all the time. It makes people uncomfortable and turns them off. So it would be great for Divinity to give the player more control over the nature of their romance.
I've noticed the problem, but hadn't really thought of it as a big deal until I encountered a youtube video that talks about it, and directly calls out BG3, so I thought I'd post this here as a warning/letting people know what's going on. I don't know if I can post links, but the video is called 'How Romance Paths in Games Fail Asexual Players (And How to Fix It)' by Darkteatime. I'm a bit frustrated with myself that I didn't think to say anything until I saw someone else voicing a complaint I've heard thrown about, so I hope other people who've had the same complaint with the game speak up.
I'm also personally frustrated with games that gate content behind building a romantic relationship with certain characters, I think mass effect and dragons age largely did this right, as you don't have to have a romantic or sexual relationship with your companions to dig into their character or learn about them as a person and they clearly mark the dialogue options that go down that path.
I guess the point here is just to let people know what is going on and hopefully see Divinity be the best that it can be.
