I think it's better when the characters have their own agency and personality. Some being more forward and taking the initiative while others need to be wooed. I think BG3 has a good mix of themes and pace in terms of the romances. The one thing I would remove is the approval based system which leads to immediate attraction as soon as you hit a benchmark and replace it with something that feels more organic and less like a game mechanism. In BG3 it was very easy to gain high approval simply by being interested in the companions' story and helping them progress to learn more about them, which lead to that feeling that they were all just lining up to get with the PC as high approval often lead to immediate romantic interest. I would put it behind hidden triggers that are unique to each character, some like flirting and forwardness, others like courage, kindness or quiet confidence and if you want to romance someone you have to learn what they respond well to through dialogue, not by some number that pops up on your screen. There is also some areas where they could polish the interactions and try to ensure that the characters can read the room a bit better. It is ok if a few misunderstandings happen every now and then, that can be interesting and fun, but they should feel believable.
This would all be greatly helped by having more platonic routes as many have already requested. If getting to know the characters and becoming close to them didn't necessarily have to lead to a romantic attraction, the romantic pursuits would feel more special.
