Hello,
I just wanted to say that I have also had this issue. We had just gotten to the Iron Bank and we were mid fight when my connection crashed. I was the host so I continued playing so I could save after the fight. But next time we tried to play no-one could join via crossplay. The one PC player and one Steamdeck player could join via other means.
Would also love a way around this as the only issue is the Xbox player as they have no other options for joining. It's an honour mode run as well, so we cannot re-load a previous save.