"By the way I fertilised your caviar."

Dr Zoidberg, futurama

"Equal goes it loose!"

You cannot really comprehend information when it is in formation. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

All your base are belong to us.

Van alle Galliers zijn de Belgen de meest dappere

carpe diem

alea jacta est

ad vitam aeternam

rara avis in terris

ardet nec consumitur

fiat voluntas tua

Captain, we don't have enough power!!!!

"That's why it's always worth having a few philosophers around the place. One minute it's all Is Truth Beauty and Is Beauty Truth, and Does A Falling Tree in the Forest Make A Sound if There's No one There to Hear It, and then just when you think they're going to start dribbling one of 'em says, Incidentally, putting a thirty-foot parabolic reflector on a high place to shoot the rays of the sun at an enemy's ships would be a very interesting demonstration of optical principles."

This website entirely operated by sock puppets
Futurama

Whow what a quote where did it came from?

how did they messure hail before golfballs?

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing." — [nocando] Brandon(programmer)

If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime

How C++ is like teenage sex:
It is on everyone's mind all the time.
Everyone talks about it all the time.
Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it.
Almost no one is really doing it.
The few who are doing it are: A. Doing it poorly. B. Sure it will be better next time. C. Not practising it safely."

Is it better to be bored, wishing you're not,
or not to be bored, wishing that you were?

"JeffMo"

Two rules for succeeding in life:
1. Don't tell people everything you know

The best three medicines to improve memory are:
The first, I do not remember its name because I cannot remember if I really took it or not.
The second, I also forgot its name because most probably I forgot to take the first.

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde.

How true <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" />

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
Ernest Hemingway

How true, why else would DAD and me be here <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Homer's inner child:Food goes in here
Homer : I sure does.

"You don't have to be crazy to moderate here, but it helps!!"

Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory

A- Aurora borealis? At this time of day, in this part of the country, located entirely in your kitchen?

No idea where this came from...

Don't let school get in the way of you education.

"The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind."

I hope i get this right...
There is can or can not there is no try - Yoda.
I am sure other Star Wars fans can correct me on this if i am wrong. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

no disentagrations

hit the deck

"Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question."

This asks for a picture <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

Only kidding, or am I <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" />

but the power.... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shhh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

"I love my country too much to be a nationalist."

Oh indeed... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />
We should get then licking the floor! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

Ummm... you misunderstood! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> We have the power here... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
I mean, if you want us in bikinis', you better do as WE say! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />

Ummm... you misunderstood! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> We have the power here... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
I mean, if you want us in bikinis', you better do as WE say! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />

Boy Faile - what we out up with huh?
Tis hard being a minority female.

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't

Am i boring you???? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />

"It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money."

what the hell did that just do?

what the hell did that just do?

The Universiade are gay games for straights

"Gigli is so horrible I had to go cleanse my palate afterward by watching Glitter."

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/memad.gif" alt="" />

het "niet missen" is menselijk?

-vergissen/fouten zijn eigen aan de mens

maar in't Latijn....
das bij mij al zooooooooooooo lang geleden...

... errata est ?

"An intellectual is a person whose mind watches itself."

"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage."

"Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !" — Andrew Rutherford.

Chances are I am the only one who will appriciate this quote <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />

Re: Real Programmers -

Thanks, DAD.
And to all like me who had to think again... try this link
how it works

And when you meet someone who does understand this joke, ask to see their slide rule and ask if plastic was really as good as bamboo.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !"

Two strings walk into a bar. The first string says to the bartender: 'Bartender, I'll have a beer. u.5n$x5t?*&4ru!2[sACC~ErJ'. The second string says: 'Pardon my friend, he isn't NULL terminated'."

"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from."

"Use the source, Luke..."

"All programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially attracts those who believe in happy endings and fairy godmothers. Perhaps the hundreds of nitty frustrations drive away all but those who habitually focus on the end goal.
Perhaps it is merely that computers are young, programmers are younger, and the young are always optimists. But however the selection process works, the result is indisputable: 'This time it will surely run' or 'I just found the last bug'." — Fred Brooks.

"Whenever you think you have a clever programming trick... forget it !"

"If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization." — Weinberg's Second Law.

How true that last one <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

"merchandising!"
- yogurt

--------------------
ready steady go!

I've should of known ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !"

dec25 = oct31
ofcours.
i never heard of using the octal system.
soo it's probably the ansestor of the hex system?

aa does me remember the good old days at university, digital techniques.
DEC25=OCT31
or
(25)10 = (31)8
2*10^1 + 5*10^0 = 3*8^2 +1*8^0
20+5 = 24+1
25=25

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

must been a typo <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
thinks for a minute <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" /> -> definately a typo

(and walks innocent away out of the class room )

aah.. you've got to love mathematics <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

it's unbeleivable that almost everything can be put into a mathematical calculation.

I'm thankful that the sun and moon
Are both hung up so high,
That no presumptuous hand can stretch
And pull them from the sky.

If they were not, I have no doubt
That some reforming [nocando]
Would recommend to take them down
And light the world with gas.

Chances are I am the only one who will appriciate this quote <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />

I always comment my code.

In a group project at Uni, one of the coders did comment his code. Mind you, with his choice of language, we'd really rather he hadn't. Further more, the on-screen display was titled "Information Kiosk Bulls***". He does realise we're getting marked on this, doesn't he?

aah.. you've got to love mathematics <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

it's unbeleivable that almost everything can be put into a mathematical calculation.

An integer counter may be called “i” but what is so wrong about calling it i_Finished_Pencil_Counter?

Of course “Nocando” titles are a big no no. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />
It only reflects the mentality of the programmer and in that case, I assure you that he was completely a misplaced person who belongs to a brothel. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

I agree, although if you use a lot of long named variables, it can make code difficult to read because the maths and methods get lost amongst the variable names. I also have the habit of reusing variables to save space (in the vast amounts of available memory - yeah, I'm a a fool), so using detailed names can actually cause confusion. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble off topic here.

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."
-- Confucius (c. 551-479? BC), Chinese sage

I'll have to remember those tips, DAD. Thanks!
Now, what's the barrel shift opperator in QBasic...?

Now, what's the barrel shift opperator in QBasic...?

Congratulations! You found the joke page.

Software developers are curious, stunted individuals with massive egos and towering (and usually wildly inflated) opinions of their own worth and ability... Pegasus Mail's author realises that he's probably no different from any other software developer in this regard. Accordingly, he has indulged himself outrageously by burying this completely pointless page in the help file to see if anyone finds it.

Your reward for enduring this string of platitudes and pointless observations is a short selection of some of my favourite quotable quotes -- you might like to use some of these in your variable signature, or, you might not... <grin>. Warning in advance - some of these quotes are probably not very politically correct, so if you're a pious or self-righteous person, you should probably stop reading this screen right now and return to your mail.


Definitions

Philosopher (n): a blind person in a dark room looking for a black hat that is not there.

Garden (n): a thing of beauty and a job forever.

Erotic (adj): using a feather as a sex aid.
Kinky (adj): using the whole duck.


Newspaper glitches

"Ghana is to change over to driving on the right.
The change will be made gradually."

"Police recover stolen hamster, arrest 3."

"Bush orders Army troops to U.S. Virgins."

Quotes from famous people

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."

-- Mark Twain.

"Each time a New Zealander leaves for Australia the IQ of both countries goes up."
-- Rob Muldoon

"It's not the men in my life that count; it's the life in my men."
-- Mae West


Signs seen around the world

"Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."
-- Seen in a Tokyo bar

"Stop: drive sideways."
-- Detour sign seen in Kyushi, Japan

"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
-- Seen on the menu of a Swiss Restaurant

"Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."
-- Seen on the menu of a Polish hotel


And finally

Remember, even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat...

Pegasus Mail System

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.
Kilgore Trout, (Philip Jose Farmer), "Venus on the Half Shell"

Shakira is a good example of what people used to do before light houses were invented. Get a young girl to stand on the edge of a cliff and dance like a loon to ward off ships

"Pires is the key to our winning the world cup" French Manager. (4 days before Pires sustained knee ligament damage)

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love tp be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff" Mariah Carry

"To know that one knows what one knows, and to know that one doesn't know what one doesn't know, there lies true wisdom."
-- Confucius (c. 551-479? BC), Chinese sage

It might ward them ON too. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Wouldn't she be called a Sirene then?
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" />

Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and their answers would determine whether they could continue their journey in the afterlife. The first question was, "Did you bring joy?" The second was, "Did you find joy?"

The savior who wants to turn men into angels is as much a hater of human nature as the totalitarian despot who wants to turn them into puppets. (Eric Hoffer)

"Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer." — Erik Naggum.

Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something."

"When the grammar checker identifies an error, it suggests a correction and can even makes some changes for you." — Microsoft Word for Windows 2.0 User's Guide.

"People say Microsoft paid 14M$ for using the Rolling Stones song 'Start me up' in their commercials. This is wrong. Microsoft payed 14M$ only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn't use the line 'You'll make a grown man cry'."

If google made $1 everytime someone used them to find an answer to a tech support question, they would own microsoft

"Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows."

I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realised I was somebody.
- Lily Tomlin

God is real - unless declared as an integer.

They asked the computer for the Answer.
"The answer to what?", asked Deep Thought.
"Life! The Universe! Everything!" they said.

After calculating for seven million years, it told them that the Answer was "Forty-two"...
so they had to build an even larger computer to find out what the Question was.

From Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

How about irrational? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

God is everything..

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself."
Peter O'Toole

God is everything..
So God MUST be the devil also then? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ouch.gif" alt="" />

-> i don't want to start a holy war here onn this forum <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shhh.gif" alt="" />

"Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known."

"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."
Will Rogers.

Are you praising yourself Morbo!
Shame ... shame ... shame ....
You are starting to sound like The Bean

Hi everyone,

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/offtopic.gif" alt="" />God is beyond mental concepts. How do you explain infinity or eternity? Words are "pointers"...kind of like poetry...They can point you towards an experience like a poem but if you take their meaning too literally, it just won't seem to make sense.

"God is both explainable and unexplainable." <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />
Just relax and allow the phrase to sink in. Let go of trying to figure it out. Let go of wanting to understand. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks.

"If a man is a fool, you don't train him out of being a fool by sending him to university. You merely turn him into a trained fool, ten times more dangerous."
Desmond Bagley.

I myself, I'm an atteïst, more like the scientific humanist or some thing like that...(i have no time to look this up now...)

could you please explain what you meant with that @DAD ? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/question.gif" alt="" />

Poster: the_bean
this brings in a nice idea of mine. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />
it would be nice if you hero had this animation when bloking an attack .

When your DAD is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him
--Michael, 14 Advice from Kids

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
--Sam Levenson

purrrrr

you like that? don't you kitty

no! we don't bite!

what i seem to be quoting fairly often of late: "ow! stoppit, kitty!"

what i seem to be quoting fairly often of late: "ow! stoppit, kitty!"

*"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown

Half of the people in the world are below average

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ....

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent

Time is God's way to keep everything from happening at once

I believe a gay mariage should be between a man and a woman

Yeah, Welcome back Womble!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" />

"in sana corpore sano"

Time is God's way to keep everything from happening at once

Don't forget the "mens"
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

Oeps, thanks Seth.

So it was this "Mens in sana corpore sano??"

Its been along time for me (Latin that is <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> )

Thank Seth.

So it is: "mens sana in corpore sano." Right?

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush???


ok just what exactly does this mean?? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

No women, no beer, no gambling, no smoking, no fat food doesn't make you life longer, it just feels that way.

I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't gamble, I don't eat fat food...
... I just lie sometimes.

Philosophy teaches how man thinks he thinks; but drinking shows how he really thinks.

I've Fallen and can't get Up

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I think all of us should follow these more often <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams

"The ships hung in the air exactly the way that bricks don't."
- Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

Gimili FotR:"Nobody tosses a dwarf!"
Gimili TTT:"Toss me I can't jump the distance....so you'll have to toss me...but dont tell the elf."

dude! love the avatar! i'm a big fan of zim.

I always wanted to be a mermaid, But I gave up that dream when I realised that you can't spread your legs when youre one

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said,"Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

We've got a great show tonight

Conan O Brian

Systemintegrator zu Azubi (Anwendungsentwicklung):
"Hey, wer hat denn den Server ausgeschaltet?!"
Azubi (stolz): "Ich, da war ein Hacker drauf!"
Systemintegrator (flippt voll aus): "DAS WAR ICH, DU VOLLIDIOT! Mit PC-Anywhere!"

Echt passiert! Traurig, aber wahr!

Systemintegrator to person being in training as Anwendungsentwickler :

"Hey, who has turned off the server ?"

Trainee (being proud) : "I did it, there was a hacker in the system !"

Systemintegrator (getting mad) : "THAT WAS ME, YOU IDIOT ! With PC-Anywhere !"


Really happened ! Sad, but true !

there once was a man from the sticks
who like to write limericks
but he failed at the sport
cause he wrote them too short

"I meant," said Iplsore bitterly, "what is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. "CATS," he said eventually, "CATS ARE NICE."

-- Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

" Dodge this!"

CBG: But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills,
you're from two different worlds.
(CBG sees missile approaching)
CBG: Oh, I've wasted my life.

Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are.

"UNIX: It's not just 'User-Unfriendly', it's 'Proactively User-Hostile' !"

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand trinary, those that don't, and those that confuse it with binary."

the dogs! and the bees! and the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they spit bees at you!

"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

"Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman."

oink?

In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return...for me to poop on

Triumph the insult comic dog

The caterpillar just eats and loafs and sleeps -- and after awhile, without any effort, it turns into a butterfly, with nothing to do but flit around and be beautiful. And the tumblebug toils and pants and sweats and worries, pushing its burden up hill forever, like Sisyphus, and pretty soon some one comes along and thinks how vulgar and ugly it is, and steps on it and squashes it. Idleness and beauty are their own rewards.

Incredible. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> Where is this from ?

On the road to Mandalay,
where the flyin' fishes play...
Come you back to Mandalay,
where the old Flotilla lay...
For the wind in the trees
and the temple bells they say,
you British soldier,
come you back to Mandalay.

There are two things that are certainly infinite. The universe and the stupidity of mankind. Well I am not quite sure about the universe
Albert Einstein

I always wish I listened to my mother when I was young
What does she say
I don't know I didn't listen
From Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

There is one language every programmer speaks perfect ... its cursing

HOMER: "Ooohh... Twenty dollars? But I wanted a peanut."

HOMER'S MIND: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.

HOMER: "Explain how."

HOMER'S MIND: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Homer check lotery tickets while apu is sleeping and finds a ticket that wins $500. homer wakes up apu

homer: I want this ticket and this chocolate bar. I've got this money
Homer empties his pockets
Apu: Sorry mister simpson you can only buy one of thos things
homer thinks
homer sad: I'll take the chocolate

Nero realises thet he doent nead spull chek because fiale is aorund <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Man: "Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet your Captain. Captain Over."
Clarence: "Gentlemen, welcome aboard."
Man: "Captain, your navigator Mr Unger and your first officer Mr Dunn." (the handshaking begins)
Clarence: "Unger."
Unger: "Over."
Dunn: "Over."
Clarence: "Dunn! Gentlemen, let's get to work."
Dunn: "Unger, didn't you serve under Over in the Airforce?"
Unger: "Ah, not directly. Technically Dunn was under Over and I was under Dunn."
Dunn: "Yep."
Unger: "So Dunn, you were under Over and over Unger."
Dunn: "Yep!"
Clarence: "Ah that's right. Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn."
Unger: "So you see both Dunn and I were under Over even though I was under Dunn."
Clarence: "Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn!"

Stewardess: "Captain! Mr Dunn and Mr Unger were sucked
out an airlock in the computer room!"
Clarence: "Both together?"
Stewardesses (together): "Mr Dunn and Mr Unger were sucked
out an air lock in the computer room!"

Work is the curse of the drinking classes!

«It is better to say so little and mean so much
than say so much and mean so little.»

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

That is not logical, but then again you are really small

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
--Unknown

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
--Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
--Albert Einstein

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil
--Paul Getty

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
--David Letterman

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
--Robert A. Heinlein

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger
--Franklin P. Jones

Dude.

Two rules to be on the road to success
1. Don't tell people everything

Steal this album

Hi

I find that it's not as easy when I play on hard.

"God save the Queeen,"
"The Fascist regime"
"It made you a moron"
"potential H-Bomb" <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Hmmm... Plowking. Sure about that???

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!

I would call it president bush <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
He sucks more than the rest of the world <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

i've been waiting for someone to say that.

'Chris Columbus is famous for dicovering America...oh how silly those native Americans must have felt, not knowing it was right under their feet!'

If I see you never again, it will be too soon!

If it waggles like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then you can be sure it is an imp dressed for a duck.

For something to exist, it has to be observed.
For something to exist, it has to have a position in time and space. And this
explains why nine-tenths of the mass of the universe is unaccounted for.
Nine-tenths of the universe is the knowledge of the position and direction of
everything in the other tenth. Every atom has its biography, every star its
file, every chemical exchange its equivalent of the inspector with a clipboard.
It is unaccounted for because it is doing the accounting for the rest of it, and
you cannot see the back of your own head.

You kill the Joe ya make some mo

You can't cut the cheese wher ever you please

terrible terry tate

Their is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million year, eventuallt all the works of shakespeare would be produced. Now thanks to the internet , we know it's not true

Hi-speed is OK, but are we going in the right direction

I hit the ctrl key, but I'm still not in control

As a computer I find your faith in technology amusing

Hit a user to continue

Real programmers don't document. If it's hard to write, it should be hard to understand

insuficient memory, please change user? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Press any key to continue. Where's the any key?

Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you must know about us Lone Starr.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your fathers, brothers, newphews, cousins former roommate.
Lone Starr: What does that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing. Which is what you're about to become. Prepare to die.
-space balls

"please refrain from using automatic translators our English is way better than their German"

Forum Announcement: To our visitors who are not fluent in the German language: Welcome, and please refrain from using automatic translators - our English is way better than their German.

THat guys hilarious.

'The last words in the world are going to be " hey, what happens when I do this" '

terry pratchett

I think, therefore I am.... made by some guy.

Descartes was the guy, and he was an Philosopher. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

"Be excellent to each other" <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Womble

Life is like a video game. once completed it doesn't matter any more

Ponder this...... Is a Frog'sass watertight??? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

OK then ...ponder this one...

There is no way to Happiness,
Happiness is the way.

That would suck if you were two reincarnations away from enlightenment and you were reincarnated into a body that didn't believe in it...

wherever you go...there you are.

Let's see, said the blind man.

What a pointfull thing to say...

Cotton on ! (now where did that come from?) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

“It is great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people.”

good one.....did she really say that......
Hmmmm, she's stupider than she looks.....

i guess we ALL know where her brains are....

nobody looks at her brains....

lews, we ALL look at her brains...

"I don't really think about anything too much. I live in the present. I move on. I don't think about what happened yesterday. If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out.."

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.
People are either charming or tedious."

Tsel <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/stupid.gif" alt="" />

um
"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.
People are either stupid or not knowing."

Sounds more like a defenition of human kind.
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.
People are either living life, or just going through the motions...

Jurak

AlrikFassbauer & Setharmon >

You two are too funny.
Evil <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> but funny. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />




"We are all born charming, fresh, and spontaneous
and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society"

Tsel <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

um
"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.
People are either stupid or not knowing."

Sounds more like a defenition of human kind.
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood,
won't you be my neighbor? ....

"When virtue and modesty enlighten her charms,
the lustre of a beautiful woman is brighter than the stars of heaven,
and the influence of her power it is in vain to resist."

It's better to have a good neighbour than a far friend. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Why thank you Tsel <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kissyou.gif" alt="" />

MeaCulpa