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#337857 05/08/06 07:52 PM
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"Hey, does something seem different lately?"
"Nope."
"No, really, I feel like somethings missing around here."
"No. Nothing missing."
"Hey, have you seen killerzzz lately?"
"Who?"
"You know, killerzzz, that weird guy that used to hang around the forums a while ago."
"Never heard of."
"I think he's been missing for, like, three months now."
"Meh."
"I wonder where he is."
"Who cares?
"Well, I miss him."
"... Who are we talking about again? Ohh Ehm Eff Gee... him? That annoying wierdo psychopathic schizophrenic loonatic?"
"Hey, he's not a schizo!"
"Thank goodness he left!"
"Well, you're going to be dissapointed then... mouahahha!!!!" <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />


Guess who's back.
Back again.
Killerzzz' back.
Tell your friends.
Yes I'm back
From my shack
And that work-
load attack
That got stackt
But I'm back
It's a faaaact.


Well, I think that just about sums it up. Might have something to do with my return, iunno. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

So, yeah, glad to be back. Took me, like, an hour so far looking through all the stuff that I missed, and I still have more to go!

If anyone actually was wondering "Wut happnd 2 wutz-his-face?", well I was bombarded by a workload that took my chances of comming to the forums and posting a constructive post. So I've been biding my time... for my great return!

After the work started dying down, about a month or two later, I had already been forgetting more and more "Whats that thing I've been wanting to do but I've been too busy?" So I forgot. History became memory, memory became legend, and thats something close to what they said at the start of the Lord of the Rings movie... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anyhoo, then this summer when the work was adios, I had another venture.

Jaw sugury. Torture if there ever was such a thing.

I'd like to go into details about the suffering and gore, but I think this post is getting long enough. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

So, watch'er backs, the sheriffs back in town...
Not me though. Some guy that calls himself the sheriff. Ignore him.

Hope to converse with you all soon! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" />

Killerzzz... that guy that keeps showing up. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Killerzzz


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Yay, someone who didn't leave, but someone who came back. Feel my joy. Hey, what do you mean you can't?!?

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Zzzrellik kcab emoclew!
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" />


The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?
~Jeremy Bentham
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I was wondering where you'd been. Glad to see you back!

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I understand...I just started my Masters Degree so I have been pretty incognito as well...as you can see I am giving up sleep to post!!! (its 0024 here)

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i don't really wonder if u are ever coming back. 'cos i know u will eventually. since u have no real life to speak of. just like the rest of us. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />



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No you are! Wait... what? Oh! Yes. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/stupid.gif" alt="" />

Yeah, its good to see everyone. The real world was getting boring. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

And to Cleglaw, I... don't know what you said. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

But have things died down while I was gone? Seems like I only had two hours of catching up to do. I was expecting, like, ten. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anyhoo, its late for me too. 4:30am. Ooops!

Time to go to bed... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/sleepey.gif" alt="" />

Killerzzz


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And to Cleglaw, I... don't know what you said. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />


Read it backwards.


The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?
~Jeremy Bentham
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Quote




And to Cleglaw, I... don't know what you said. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />


Read it backwards.


Yaaay! Myself is welcomed. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Killerzzz


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<creeps-out> I'd ask why your jaw is wired shut, but I really don't want any details. If you do say why, please put it in a spoiler tag. <shivers>


No details, eh? Does not compute unfortunately. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />

I'll tell the tale, film noir style. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> Don't worry, I'll "spoiler" the stuff that would make one shiver. But why even put it in "spoiler"? It'll just make you want to read it that much more. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

Get ready for what is possibly my longest post on this forum. And just as possibly the most interesting.

Ahem...

It all started a certain time ago. I won't go over a history of pulled teeth. Suffice to say that dental work was in order.

We were all hoping it wasn't so serious.

You see, even though they made room for my teeth, the ones that were left still weren't lined up right. Braces alone couldn't fix it. The problem wasn't just the teeth.

It was the jaws.

Both the top and the bottom jaw had to be moved around. But you can't just move a jaw. You gotta break it first.

<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> I walked into the hospital that morning, trying not to think about it. That didn't help. The smell of alcohol and other medicines and plastic and perservitives and cleaners that accompany any hospital... they were making me not help but think about what was comming next.

The nurses had me strip down to my underpants and put on a hospital robe. When I got out, it wasn't long before I saw him. My surgun. So, it was now. It was time.

I f***ing hate needles. And basically, an I.V. is a big tube-like needle they put in the big vein on your hand.

I hate needles, and I was scared, but I wasn't no pussy. I looked that needle in the face and watched it go in. I didn't flinch. Get it over with. They put the gas mask on my face, and it wasn't long of breathing in the crappy tasting fumes that I was out like a light... </span>

[color:"red"] Like my story so far? Mind that I don't really think like that. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> Its just the form of writing. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" /> [/color]


I don't remember much from the three first days. I was in and out. It wasn't even the drugs though; that step was past. I just couldn't bear to be awake.

<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'>
I had to sit up constantly. The first night was bad. The confusion was unnerving. I woke up, and suddenly I couldn't open my jaw.

It was wired shut.

You see, the sergury was basically that they broke both of my jaws, moved them where they should be, then wired them shut. They would have to stay that way for six weeks straight. Thats how long it takes for broken bone to heal.

I managed to cope with the jaw at first since my mind was still loopy. And the pain? It was terrible, but I can take pain. Pain was the easy part. The worst thing was not being able to cause suction in my mouth. My whole face was swollen, I could feel it, but I dared not look in the mirror. I didn't want to see.

Why would I want suction in my mouth? Well, because the sergury took place near my sinuses, they started to bleed. I was having nosebleeds every few minutes for the whole first week. When I woke up on the second day in the hospital, I was a little more myself and I looked at my bed for the first time. There was blotches of blood here and there and everywhere.

So, my nose was plugged with blood and mucus and my teeth were wired together: it was freaking hard to breath. And I still haven't even gotten to the worst part of it all. </span>

[color:"red"] Wondering what its gunna be? I know I am. [/color]

<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> In my opinion, this is the worst thing I've ever felt. More than fear. More than nearly drowning. More than almost choking to death that one time. Those other things were s**tty but they were fast. This was slow torture.

Imagine feeling a bit of mucus mixed with thick old blood ooze from your sinuses to the top back of your throat. Now, imagine if you can the feeling of it slowly, ever so slowly, slimeing down the back of your throat where you can't reach it. You can't sniffle, or you'll reopen the cuts in your sinuses. You can't swallow because your face is so swollen that you can't produce any suction in your mouth. You can't use your toung because you're scared you'll choke on it. So you just have to let it slide at about 10 milimeters per minute. You feel the need to swallow but you can't. In fact, every time you try, the little pressure you cause makes it go back up to the start. But you're scared of it comming down. Scared you'll choke. So you keep making it go back up until you fall asleep/lose conciousness. </span>

[color:"red"] Don't actually try to imagine this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. [/color]

<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> Back to the first day; I had myself a good scare. You see, I saw a bubble in the I.V. tube. You ever see the movies where someone dies because they get injected with an empty needle? The I.V. tube went into the vein in my hand. I mumbled for the nurse. I tried to say that there was a bubble in my I.V. She came in with a needle to drain it from the tube.

Luckily, it wasn't anything serious. Turns out that a small bubble is harmless. I'd need to see a good 5-10 centimeters of air in the tube to be worried. Speaking of needles, on the second night and on the third day I had to have a total of four big-a*s needles, that actually went in the a*s. They stick you and you think "That wasn't so bad," but then they push in the injection and you can't sit on that cheek for twenty minutes. It was to bring down the swelling. It was also to take away the pain. Well, it replaced one with another.

Eating was no fun. The I.V. was giving me nutrients, but I had to start eating (that is, drinking) real foodstuffs. It was hard, and I didn't do it the first or third days. But I got the hang of it.

One funny thing happened at the hospital. On the first day, they had me pee in a one litre container since I was too weak to make it to a toilet. I filled the container almost to the rim. Turns out I.V. juice runs right through the system. They kept asking if I was done yet, and I kept replying "Nope. Nope." I probably took 5 full pisses in one run there.

It was the second day that I saw my face for the first time. It was a shock. I looked like a guy that was dangerously overweight. I got home on the fourth day. When I took my first shower, I had a look of myself in the mirror and I just had to laugh: I had a beyond fat head and a beyond skinny body. Turned out that I had actually lost ten pounds after the operation. I am fully grown, and I then only weighed 125 pounds. It was unhealthy.

At home things got better. Sleeping was damn near impossible, but I got around to it as things started to heal. At one point in the hospital, the blood that had been dripping down my nose had crusted itself filling my nostrils with a dried-blood sponge. I had to use a dissolvant to break it down before I could safely clean it out.

On the third day, I also noticed something that worried me. There was blood in my eye. The doctor said that it was normal. It was from bruising. As the swelling went down, I noticed that my face had turned a greenish-yellow. It was etirely bruised.

Now its the fourth week. My swelling is down and nearly gone as is the bruising. I'm still weak and out of shape, and the pain never really left. In fact, the wires had pushed into the backs of my lips while they were swollen and now there is a long-term crater that is consantly painful. I long for solid foods, even stuff I don't even like. Anything will do.

Now I gotta wait. I'm almost there, but the longer I'm at it, the harder it gets. Its not so much a suffering thing anymore, but I'm depressed. I'm an emotional wreck, I snap at people and my walls get a good punching. Just two more weeks... </span>

[color:"red"] Sometimes I wonder how I got through the hard stuff. Well, it was simple really. I just bossed myself around. I basically told myself stuff like: "Suck it up! Be a man! Take it you b****, you weakling! It had to be done, it has been done, and now you gotta deal with it. Whimpering won't make it better." I was being a mean coach to myself, and you know what? It worked.

Now I don't want to scare anyone who might have to get this done, but I fear I might have. Somehow... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Well, I gotta say that if you have to get it done, then hey, tough. I did it. I made it. All you really need is some bigtime willpower. Thats it. Be strong. Do NOT give in to the fear. [/color]

Killerzzz


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Thank you very much for the spoiler tags. What's left is exactly how much I could bear to read. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And good job on facing the dentist despite fear. That takes a lot.

I've been facing so many fears lately, it's becoming fun. Michelle said to me last night, "Lets stay on the top floor of a hotel." My first thoughts were "Damn, how much is that going to cost? When on Earth are we going to be able to pay for something like that?" So I replied, "Okay, but it has to be a tall one." We're making it happen, and I will be scared of the bill until it's paid off. And the night that we spend up there together will be worth everything.

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@ killerzzz -> wow! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> that is so so so so so scary!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/sad.gif" alt="" /> but i'm glad that u're a strong person & that u managed to pull yourself through so far with willpower. u should get a medal for this. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />

well at least i can say that after the operation & after u get your jaws to operate as usual, u will have the sexiest jaw in Larian. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />

the PIFs support your struggle for the sexiest jaw! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/XmasJump.gif" alt="" />

@ HEF -> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" /> after reading about what u said of your fears, i feel that Michelle is more & more the one for u as she may be the one to help u get over them. but the fear of the bill is a very valid one, i tell u. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />



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Hey, welcome back, killerzzz. You were missed. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" />
Sorry you had to go through this; but I'm glad you did with a such attitude. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />
I hope you'll continue to heal fine and find it was worth it.

Time to forget, now! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />


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<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

Thanks everyone.

Though I wasn't exacly as brave as the narrator (I didn't watch it go in; *shudder* ), I think I held myself quite well.

Though in the story, I left out my shows of weakness. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shame.gif" alt="" /> Kinda makes it more interesting without'em.

Plus, I've got a bright side to look at comming up in the eventual future. After this is done, all thats left is the remaining time of braces. When thats done: no more teeth removal, no more removal of other (when the got the wisdom teeth, they also got a cist in my jaw directly under the toung <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> ), no more mouth closed, no more braces... free Willy!

Well, keep it real everyone! And don't let that dentist bully you around! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

When he says "We have to pull a tooth out." or something, say "Yeah, punk? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/suspicion.gif" alt="" /> Give me you're best shot..." or "If you want that tooth, you're gunna have to come and take it..." or something similar and more polite. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Then it'll be:
Needle-numb,
tooth from gum,
you kick dentist
in the bum! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />

Killerzzz


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I have a hang over.

And it hurts.

And I wish I had more of that Corona.



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lay off the mexican, Lews. the american ones too. for real ones, get european. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

but seriously, lay off the booze. if u want to enjoy it, don't do it often. & know your limits. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />



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I do I do I do <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

after the party all there was left was hard stuff and the mexican <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> I've had enough vodka in the last week =/



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Yikes Killerzzz, that sounds seriously unpleasant... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" />

I hope it's sorted now. Your graphic description gave me a better insight into what my brother has just been going through. (If you're squeamish, don't read on!!) In his case, some stacks of wood fell on him and broke his top jaw (yep, top) away from the rest of his skull, and also broke his eye sockets. Lord knows how he survived that, but there were some unusual side effects like trying to drink and having the liquid come out his nose, because the roof of his mouth was not intact any more.. And going deaf if he tried to speak too much, because the resultant swelling caused some of the tubing to his ears to be squeezed shut...

Fortunately the surgeons seem to have done a great job and he appears to be on the mend. We're on opposite sides of the world so I haven't seen him through this - but I sure hope that you both are now back to 100%.

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There will be no thread killing by trying to promote moderation!!!!! Nonsense!

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Yikes Killerzzz, that sounds seriously unpleasant... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" />

I hope it's sorted now. Your graphic description gave me a better insight into what my brother has just been going through. (If you're squeamish, don't read on!!) In his case, some stacks of wood fell on him and broke his top jaw (yep, top) away from the rest of his skull, and also broke his eye sockets. Lord knows how he survived that, but there were some unusual side effects like trying to drink and having the liquid come out his nose, because the roof of his mouth was not intact any more.. And going deaf if he tried to speak too much, because the resultant swelling caused some of the tubing to his ears to be squeezed shut...

Fortunately the surgeons seem to have done a great job and he appears to be on the mend. We're on opposite sides of the world so I haven't seen him through this - but I sure hope that you both are now back to 100%.


oh man ... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" />

at least he's on the road to recovery, Kris. your brother is strong enough to pull himself through. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />



......a gift from LaFille......
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