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Anon was the name of one of the pre-Genesis groups at Charterhouse school (says a fan <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> ).


When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.
--Dilbert cartoon

"Interplay.some zombiefied unlife thing going on there" - skavenhorde at RPGWatch
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Was Al the lead singer?





The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?
~Jeremy Bentham
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Location: W. Australia
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Q: Why is it quicker to psychoanalise men than women?

A: because when it comes to the bit where you go back to your childhood - hey, we're already there...

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A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a ***** on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

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<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> Good one HeF <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />


Mea Culpa's Demesne Note; artwork for Avatar courtesy of NWN and CEP Old Elven Saying: "Never say Never if you're gonna live forever!!!" "I didn't do it, it wasn't my fault"
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Little john went to the store and noticed a Nintendo DS he wanted to buy but he had 15 dollars short.

So he headed home and ask his mum for 5 dollars, if you fix my kitchentool she answered. So John did fix it.
He moved on to his dad and asked for 5 dollars, and offcourse the dad to asked to fix something, this time the lawnmower. As he fixed that he went to ask his elder brother the same, who demanded John fixed his TV.

That evening the mother died of electrocution, the father died when his leg got cut off and the brother passed away when the TV exploded.

next morning the doorbell rang and when John opened the door there was a bear...

Can you guess what that bear said?








<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'>Nothing, bears don't talk.</span>


It's one of these days...
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<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ouch.gif" alt="" /> [Linked Image]


Mea Culpa's Demesne Note; artwork for Avatar courtesy of NWN and CEP Old Elven Saying: "Never say Never if you're gonna live forever!!!" "I didn't do it, it wasn't my fault"
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3 Engineers are debating about God. The 1st engineer says, "God must have been a mechanical engineer because of how the whole muscle/skeletal system is designed." The 2nd engineer says, "No, God must be an Electrical Engineer because of how the Central Nervous system is designed." The 3rd engineer says, "You're both wrong. God must have been a Civil Engineer...because only a Civil Engineer would run a sewer line through a recreational area."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Two physicists were in a debate. As the debate raged, however, they came to realize that their competing theories were not actually incompatible. Having come to this conclusion, each stepped out from behind his lectern and strode towards the other, across the lecture hall. They reached out their hands to shake, and--ZAP--a small spark of static electricity jumped between their fingers.

"Well," one said to the other, "I'm glad we've finally found a common ground."


The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?
~Jeremy Bentham
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Good one Cleg <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />


Mea Culpa's Demesne Note; artwork for Avatar courtesy of NWN and CEP Old Elven Saying: "Never say Never if you're gonna live forever!!!" "I didn't do it, it wasn't my fault"
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much appreciated by the engineering community. great one, Cleg! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />



......a gift from LaFille......
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A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her
five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in
the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying,
All of you bastards who want off, get the f**k off
now, cause we're in a hurry!
And all of you bastards who are getting on, get the
f*ck on, cause we're going down the tracks".

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We
don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I
want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO
HOURS.

When you come out, you may play With your train, but
I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom
and resumed playing with his train.

Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son
say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train,
please remember to take all of your belongings with
you.
We thank you for travelling with us today and hope
your trip was a pleasant one."

She hears the little boy continue, "For those of
you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand
luggage under Your seat. Remember, there is no smoking
on the train.
We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing
Journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child
added..........
"For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO
HOUR delay, please please see the fat bitch in the
kitchen."


Drink Up Ye Cider.
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A cowboy in Texas gets pulled over by a State Trooper
for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the cowboy about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the cowboy feel uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with circle flies?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they're called. But I never heard of no circle flies."

"Well, sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the
ticket. A moment later he stops and says, "Are you callin' me
a horse's [nocando]?"

"No, sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for law enforcement to call y'all a horse's [nocando]."

"That's a good thing," the trooper says and goes back
to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas
drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies though."


The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?
~Jeremy Bentham
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Top job Spick & Cleg <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />


Mea Culpa's Demesne Note; artwork for Avatar courtesy of NWN and CEP Old Elven Saying: "Never say Never if you're gonna live forever!!!" "I didn't do it, it wasn't my fault"
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From another forum :

Quote
Bad Analogies

An "analogy" is when you compare your subject to something else. A friend of mine who is a high school English teacher sent me these. They are supposedly actual examples, and some of them are hysterically funny.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife&#8217;s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn&#8217;t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you&#8217;re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30 p.m.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan&#8217;s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fire fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was a lame duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.


When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.
--Dilbert cartoon

"Interplay.some zombiefied unlife thing going on there" - skavenhorde at RPGWatch
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Good one's there Alrik <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />...but what are those numbers in some of the lines??


Drink Up Ye Cider.
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<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> nice, some of the analogies remind me of Blackadder <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

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Good one's there Alrik <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />...but what are those numbers in some of the lines??

hmm Spick, offhand I would say that al copied it from a html site and due to the font settings, some characters like the "'" single quote, spaces or the apostrophe come out looking like something nasty <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> %^$#


Mea Culpa's Demesne Note; artwork for Avatar courtesy of NWN and CEP Old Elven Saying: "Never say Never if you're gonna live forever!!!" "I didn't do it, it wasn't my fault"
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Ooooh!....I thought it was Alrik being all clever and brainy like!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shame.gif" alt="" />


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Good one's there Alrik <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />...but what are those numbers in some of the lines??

hmm Spick, offhand I would say that al copied it from a html site and due to the font settings, some characters like the "'" single quote, spaces or the apostrophe come out looking like something nasty <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> %^$#


I guess so. I plainly copied it from another forum.

I just looked : They are apostrophes (hope I spelled that correctly).


When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.
--Dilbert cartoon

"Interplay.some zombiefied unlife thing going on there" - skavenhorde at RPGWatch
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Spelled correctly <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


I am in blood
Stepp'd in so far, that, should I wade no more,
Returning were as tedious as go o'er.
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