Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) did we do jokes already?

as Ahhhh-noold avalys says, I'll be bock! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />


Where is that new game anyway?

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> As always Jurak, I'm a big fan of your jokes, so keep them coming!
(I love to copy and send them to my dad too) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

Hmmm... If Arnie wanted to be in the new Star Trek films, would it be: "Ah'll be Spock!" <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

hehe <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />...

blonde joke alert!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
.
.
.
.
.
A. One's a bunch a cunning runts

hoohah <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />... ba dum dum... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bday_jump.gif" alt="" /> pa ching! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />...


ha ha ha ha....

I do have more... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />

On a recent trip to Hertforshire, a man went to the village of Herbum near Tillet town. While in the local pub, The Cockwell Inn, he met the land lady Lucy Lykes.

They struck up a friendship and he's now started writing to her. Her address is...

Lucy Lykes
The Cockwell Inn
Herbum
Tillet
Herts.


<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

more blonde moments... ;

what is a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?

humpme dumpme.....

why are there lipstick stains on the steering wheel after a blondes been driving a car?

because she blows the horn.

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/alien.gif" alt="" />

Why does a blond wear panties?

... To warm up her ankles!


Oh my god!! did i just say that? ... hahahahahah

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

A 70 year old spinster decides she wants to marry so she puts an ad in the paper. The ad only has 3 requirements ; the man cannot hit her cannot run around on her andmust be great in bed. Weeks go by with no responce to the ad, finally the doorbell rings, the old lady answers the door and finds a quadriplegic man in a wheelchair she looks at him in amazement and says, "you can't be possibly be applying for my ad. you have no arms!" He replied "Therefore, I can never hit you." She concidered this and said, "But....you have no legs." Therefore, I can never run around on you." She looked at him with a lascivious gleam in her eye and asked "And are you great in bed?"He grinned up at her and said,I rang the doorbell, didn't i?" <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.

Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.

Q. What do blondes and cow [nocando] have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!

Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.


<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" />

u still have the magically funny touch, Orc Chief! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />
Seinfeld's boring compared to u! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

Had to read this three times before I actually got it.

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> Hilarious Jurak!

From The Almighty Order Of The Stick: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0043.html

Great ones as usual Jurak, I don't expect anything less from you <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

do you see jesus...?

oops, sorry move the pic at photobucket...

see him? ....he really is everywhere..... ha ha <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Brilliant! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Übereil

What is the way to make a small fortune in the current market?

Yoo Divine One`s!

My turn,
PS. I`m bad at jokes =P


Evening, about 8 pm.
Countryside.
An old man named Bob cruises on the highway, hoping he`ll find an UFO.
Up ahead of him he sees green lights. He wonders, what could that be, might aswell check it out.
Drives for about an hour, the green light just seemed to be not far away from him, a meter maybe? But the distance never changed. Gah, to heck with it - he thought and took the next turn left. Ahead of him he saw an old man, dressed in grayish robes. He stoped and asked if the man wants a lift home. No thankee, ol` Bobby boy, but you could spare some change though - said the old man. Bob game him a couple of cents. The old man looked happy and said - Lemme` tell ya` a secret ol`Bobby boy. There be a gem that keeps on dissapearin` and reapearin`, say, think you could solve this? The previous guy i asked neva` returned to me to tell what it was..
Bob then said - fine.
He got back in his truck and went back the road he came from. He then saw the green light again. I`ll get to the bottom of this - he thought and continued driving forward. After another hour of driving the fuel ended. Dang nab it - he thought, well, i came this far, so..
He continued down the road the light dispeared then reapeared all the time. Finally, the light stoped disapearing and was just lying there on the road. Bob looked around, seemed fine, nobody was around, when he walked near the lgiht it turned into a emrald... 3 thugs jumpd out of nowhere and the last thing that Bob thought was - That old man was a thug...nice trap..
4 days have passed since Bob got attacked by the thugs.
The old man cryed - Boohohoho.. I cant believe it.. another one screwed me... Me! Malachias! Boo...



Tired of reading yet?

Subject: BURGLARY IN FLORIDA (You just can't make this stuff up!!) When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder. (That's the way the police report described it.) A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said that it looked similar to high-grade cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time. Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars. "Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago." The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained. Scotch taped to the box was this note which said:
"Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day." And you thought California was the land of fruits and nuts!