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#151355 12/01/04 05:11 PM
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As the older members already know, I'm a newbie in this internet world - and I have wondered very often, why the sentence "get a life" is used so often in this virtual world and very seldom meant in a friendly way.

1.Well, what is this "life I/you/others should get"?
2.What does it involve?
3.What does it exclude?
4.What is your personal definition of a "life to get"?
5.Why is a "life" (spending time on the internet) not a "life" - and if it is not a "life", what is it then?

Please, try to stick to the questions I posted - I really want to understand. Refrain from spamming if you can - I've tried very often to understand the meaning - up to now: in vain.
Kiya

kiya #151356 12/01/04 05:18 PM
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people who say such things really have no "lives" of their own..
And I am serious in this matter, people who have good lives, and are always happy, like me <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shame.gif" alt="" /> never say such things.

And if people say such things to me, I just laugh at them, knowing I am better than that.

1: with a life they mean a life outside computers, going outside in this terrible weather and such..
Strange : they say such things mostally when behind computers themselves..

2: it involves much of friends, attention from girls etc etc etc..

3: it encludes liking to game, or spending time behind the pc, reffraining yourself from contact with the outside world.

4: don't know exactly what you mean, srry <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shame.gif" alt="" />

5: IMHO, it is as much a life as everything else, it is what you choose to do, and what you like..
Who is to say things about it not being a life..


jvb, royal dragon prince Cheers!
jvb #151357 12/01/04 05:45 PM
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My Humble Opinion:

In a practical sense, it's really a meaningless phrase used mainly for the emotional reaction it evokes. Could be any of:

- a classic "put down" from any thoughtless, arrogant, self-satisfied person to anyone else who doesn't fit in with their particular definition of "smart" or "cool";

- an indication of impatience, or gesture of dismissal (a way of saying "I can't be bothered with you")

- the feeling of a generalist toward a specialist of any sort, especially in a computer context... (possibly an element of envy involved?)

- a flippant phrase used between good friends who are just kidding around... and are perhaps just a tiny bit anxious deep down inside that what they are interested in (or obsessed with) isn't considered quite "normal" ("normal" being another nasty word that should be used with extreme caution <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />!);

- a phrase used by someone in a self-deprecating manner ("I really need to get a life".), which may just mean that they are perhaps a bit unhappy with the way their social life is going at the moment...

kiya #151358 12/01/04 06:03 PM
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1 - I don't know

2 - I don't know

3 - I don't know

4 - Real life - sucess in all what you do(well - you have to try). I'm not saying you'll get it.

5 - Isn't a real life, is a virtual life - you can't live with ilusions of what don't exist or happens in the world - the internet is a fountain of information is a way of conection to other people what you can talk about anything, but you hide your real personality cause this "world" let you do that very well, and is almost impossible you have real real emotions with it, you can't touch or hug a person using a computer - people needs people - the machine hide what you are, you can't dance with other person using a computer, you are limited by what the machine offer. It's a big ilusion of data and a lot of aplications what hide what is really happening - is a big interpretation of protocols and etc. I prefer to share all i have with a person what i love than have a lot of machines. The machine is a way to escape from the reality of the world(what sometimes isn't a good reality or isn't the reality what you want). Of course nothing stop you to do what you want, but... is your own decision.

and 6 - i'm not saying to you stop to use machines, cause it's cool yet.

Last edited by Shyon; 12/01/04 06:09 PM.

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jvb #151359 12/01/04 06:05 PM
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my girls always used to tell me to "get a life" ,in a friendly sort of way.. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />
so my reply to them for that everytime was..... "i've already got a life,.....and your in it".

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" />
i really don't know why ppl say it......maybe they're jealous of your life and want to put you down...or maybe theyre joking with you, or maybe their priorities do not match with yours, so THEY feel like YOU don't have a life?? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> oooooooh thats is surely deep!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ouch.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kitty.gif" alt="" />


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Jurak #151360 12/01/04 06:36 PM
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Careful Jurak that little orc brain my overload LOL <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />

NeroJB #151361 12/01/04 06:48 PM
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My classic response to this is usually something along the lines of, "I've got one mate, and its better than yours...."
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

Poor little Jurak's brain... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />


" Road rage, air rage. Why should I be forced to divide my rage into seperate categories? To me, it's just one big, all-around, everyday rage. I don't have time for distinctions. I'm too busy screaming at people. " -George Carlin
kiya #151362 12/01/04 06:51 PM
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Ah ! - A philosophical discussion ! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> I love that. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

1.Well, what is this "life I/you/others should get"?
2.What does it involve?
3.What does it exclude?
4.What is your personal definition of a "life to get"?
5.Why is a "life" (spending time on the internet) not a "life" - and if it is not a "life", what is it then?

I cannot stick to exactly all of the points, pleaee forgive me. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> When I'm beginning to write, everything becomes an article on something. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> I don't like to innterupt "the flow". <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

So, my thoughts :

Depends on the point of view of the one who says it. "hanging in a virtual room" (crude description for Internet <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> ) might be considered "inferior" by some people.

I think that "being online" and especially "chatting" is considered "non-productive" by some people.

That reminds me of the view many men have towards "chatting" , "gossip" and communication in general : It's not productive. You don't create things with it, so it's basically inferior to "productive" works.

The element of the exchange of information is often heavily ignored, because that's a thing the people didn't need for a long time. A farmer doesn't need that - he only needs to know when to seed and to harvest.

In recent times, the view has shifted a bit, butr this is still far from being well considered : We live in a society (at least in the so-called "Western World" , no matter how rude this term might in the effect be) that is more and more built upon the exchange of information - like the shift from a productive economy (farmers) to a economy rather based upon services (Dienstleistungsgesellschaft).

So "get yourself a life" basically means (in my theory) that you should a) shut up (stop chatting), b) stop being online all of the time, but rather c) "do something productive".

Artists have this problem, too : They all create wonderful works everyone adores, but no-one would say they do "productice works" like a smith, a farmer, a miner and so on.

Some people listening to guitar music (Heavy Metal and relatives) say that they listen to that, because it's "hand made". The same reason can be applied to orchestras, too, though.


Digging deeper, it might be a thing of "hands vs. mind". It reminds me of the DDR, the "other German country", so to say, which wanted to be a "Arbeiter und Bauern-Staat" (country for workers and farmers). People who worked with their minds were considered inferior to them, as far as I know, at least in the socialistic theory (so to say).


In the asian country Cambodia (right spelled ?) the terror regime of Pol Pot went even some steps further on : I've heard the term "Steinzeitkommunismus" ("stone-age communism") which is said to be a state of being they wanted : People only working with their hands, for their living, everyone being equal towards others, no mond-workers allowed. Rumor says that people who even had glasses were punished to work in camps. Everyone knows the infamous "Killing Fields" .


I think that is the most deepest point I can reach in this analysis : the difference of "working by mind" compared to "working by hand".

That's as deep as I can get. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

And of course, that'y my very own theory. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

Alrik.


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"Interplay.some zombiefied unlife thing going on there" - skavenhorde at RPGWatch
NeroJB #151363 12/01/04 06:57 PM
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I have noticed that there are two ways of saying that. When somebody bothers us and we are mad so we tell him that he should mind his own business and stop spending time with us bothering us.

And there is an other way, when we want to say to someone that he should feel bad because his life is empty and he is dealing with crap and that he has nothing important in it.

I have noticed that it is used more offten in the net and I can think only one reason : People who like computers are usually people that spend many hours in front of them. There are people that in some way after being so many hours in front of a screen kind of loose reality. Their life becomes the screen and the mouse. I think that is because there is much lonliness in this world after all. Sometimes it is in our hands to stop be lonely and sometimes it is not. Or at least we think so. So sometimes this expresion is used for people that spend many hours in front of a pc loosing some of the good things that life has to offer. I once told that expresion to a friend of mine but not in a bad way. It was said out of love and care because he refused to go out and have some fun, he was trying to find a girl from the net and generaly could not see people around him that loved him and cared about him and they were in flesh and blood right in front of him. So I told him "You should get a life" in a very calm and sweet way. In some cases I believe it is not important what you say but the way you say it. So he looked at me like he have not seen me for a long time and said "What did you say?" I repeated explaining to him that there is a whole wide world outside waiting for us. To cry, to laugh and live.

We talked for many hours and then we went for some drinks. I told my friend how much I have missed the times we have spend together and all that fun we had in the past (note : he was only a friend of mine for 11 years. Not a lover).
Eventually we had a great time this night. And we promised to repeat that next Saturday. And we did. Now he is getting married. And he found his girl not from the net <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

I don't know if this huge post answers any of your questions Kiya. I hope it does (cause I had a hard time writing it) but in conclusion I think that these words sometimes mean good and sometimes mean bad. Like the most things in this life in order to keep balance.

Ok I know I am writing crap. Could someone please stop me?


You can have my absence of faith
you can have my everything...

LUCRETIA #151364 12/01/04 07:04 PM
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stop you! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> get a life will ya! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

jus kiddin' <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kissyou.gif" alt="" />


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Jurak #151365 12/01/04 07:09 PM
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I'll try to explain what I think of the following two things: what people mean with it and why they say it.

[edit]In this post I'm only talking about the "Geez, get a life, (wo)man" kind of "get a life", if you know what I mean <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

With "life", I think most people mean "real life interaction".

(Add "I think" to every sentence following next -- This is not something scientifically proved <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />, it's just what I think <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> )

Most people live for relations. In fact, most people are obsessed with relations: I could bring it down to Freud's favorite subject, but I don't think I need to, to have you agree that most people can't be on their own for a long time, without starting to feel tired, sad and/or lonely.
When I say most people live for relations, I mean both intimite relations and "mere" friendship. Most people feel bad when they don't have a partner. And you don't experience hugs, kisses... (and the usual consequence of those <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> ) over the Internet.
As for the friendship (and partner as well, of course): relations over the Internet are not valued as highly because there is no physical contact. We're animals, and until telephones and Internet etc showed up, contact meant actually being next to eachother and communicate. Even shake hands or give eachother a how-do-you-do kiss.
With physical contact I also mean body language: very important - but missing when over the Internet - aspect of communication. It's like we're only communicating half - it's not our "natural" way of interaction.
When someone tells you to "get a life", it's usually because you've done or said something that could indicate and is interpreted by that someone, that you've been without that kind of contact for too long. It doesn't even have to "seem" that long, any small indication will make us assume what we want: we live in a time where we like to exaggerate - and more importantly, don't we just love preconceptions? When we say to someone "get a life" we're also hoping (s)he's actually someone who'se spent too much time on his/her own: that would make us less "nerdy" than that person, and don't we all love to be "better" than the rest?
By stating this I could come across pretty biased myself, but let me add I'm not saying it's always the same reason for why someone says "get a life". But I think it's a very common reason and a valid explanation in many cases.

Well, I think, anyway <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

Last edited by Kejero; 12/01/04 07:21 PM.

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kiya #151366 12/01/04 07:16 PM
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So far I think it's a consensus that there are at least three reasons for telling someone to "get a life". 1) you care for them and you see them not taking care of themselves or 2) you think that you know exactly how they should be living their lives and that's your way because you're so much smarter then they are and want to play "God" or 3) you're just being spiteful and you know that everyone has insecurities about who and what they are - especially when they are extremely passionate about something.


~DragonQueen~
Kejero #151367 12/01/04 07:16 PM
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@Alrik: I have my doubts. It's often said by youngsters, teenagers often, to "get a life", and they're often the kind that go out and get drunk or high every other night. You know, the kind of people that do lots of things, but little productive...
In some cases you're possibly still right though, but when I see someone like described above tell someone to "get a life", I really don't think (s)he's talking about productivity (unless you consider "that other kind of productivity" as productivity <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> , but then we're not talking about blacksmiths and farmers anymore, are we <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> )


Mr Kej, Second Member of the Guild of Off-Topic Posters *** Visit Aviorn's Inn, my Divine Divinity fansite ***
Kejero #151368 12/01/04 07:30 PM
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The phrase "get a life" implies the current absence of "a life".

The very indirection of the phrase (by implication) indicates that the speaker is acting in a passive-aggressive manner. Whether the speaker's intention is humor, disdain, challenge, or rhetorical, this form of indirect attack is designed to be confusing to the target of the comment.

Put yourself in the target's shoes. You hear someone say to you: "get a life." You hear the words, and know the definition of each of them because you have memorized the dictionary. However, it is obvious to you that there is a hidden meaning behind the phrase. Your own personality, mindset, and attitude will be likely to bias your interpretation of the phrase and subjective evaluation of the hidden meaning.

Meanwhile, the speaker has seized that moment to consciously choose to throw you off balance with the comment. Why? Was the speaker losing the battle of wits and needed to jockey for a better wrestling position? Was the speaker trying to escalate a situation into a confrontation by throwing the first punch? Was the speaker acting or reacting out of habit, without understanding why that behavior exists in his or her persona/psyche? Was the speaker attempting to ingratiate himself/herself to you by acting a little too intimately for the situation?

Bottom line: The phrase "get a life" is an attack of some sort. The attacker knows it is an attack. The attacker also knows that the target can not possibly "know" exactly the hidden meaning behind the phrase.

It may not the the first punch in a confrontation, but it is a punch nonetheless. Friendly or otherwise.


-- BG
Kejero #151369 12/01/04 07:31 PM
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get a life: "your a computer nerd with no social life!" "I don't admit it but, I myself have none either and act like I have this really interesting social life etc etc"


It's one of these days...
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Hmmmm.... You know, it's not always an attack though... When I was defending that abstract riddle in the riddle thread and looked at the amount of letters I had just typed, I though by myself "Geez, Kej, get a life", and I meant it in a very considerate way <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />


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Kejero #151371 12/01/04 07:47 PM
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what a life ! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />


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kiya #151372 12/01/04 07:50 PM
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Quote
As the older members already know, I'm a newbie in this internet world - and I have wondered very often, why the sentence "get a life" is used so often in this virtual world and very seldom meant in a friendly way.

1.Well, what is this "life I/you/others should get"?
2.What does it involve?
3.What does it exclude?
4.What is your personal definition of a "life to get"?
5.Why is a "life" (spending time on the internet) not a "life" - and if it is not a "life", what is it then?

Please, try to stick to the questions I posted - I really want to understand. Refrain from spamming if you can - I've tried very often to understand the meaning - up to now: in vain.
Kiya


Kiya you are the best <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Don't know anyone who could actually get so many and such long responses on a philosophical subject like "Get a Life", but here's another " I will be there in a hurry" I mean honestly have you ever seen anyone arriving in a 'hurry' and if you did what did it look like ? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />


Mea Culpa's Demesne Note; artwork for Avatar courtesy of NWN and CEP Old Elven Saying: "Never say Never if you're gonna live forever!!!" "I didn't do it, it wasn't my fault"
Jurak #151373 12/01/04 07:51 PM
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Another theory... People often say "Life's a bitch". So, when they say "get a life", maybe they mean..... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Never mind <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />


Mr Kej, Second Member of the Guild of Off-Topic Posters *** Visit Aviorn's Inn, my Divine Divinity fansite ***
Kejero #151374 12/01/04 07:54 PM
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... get a dog?


It's one of these days...
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