Larian Studios Forums Baldur's Gate III Baldur's Gate III - Suggestions & Feedback Asexuality in romances?

hey, I've been really looking forward to playing BG3 but there is one thing that bothers me.

I like the characters, I like watching these characters develop. I would like to build a romantic relationship with them but... in a lot of cases I would love to be able to play as asexual and simply enjoy romance without the sexual part of it.

I didn’t want to get overly personal with this, but I am afraid I am doing it now. The idea that asexuality is incompatible with romance is a very damaging idea that hurts many many asexuals across the globe. And when games let you be asexual just to be locked out of any romance, it only serves to further extend the wrong idea that the only difference between a romantic relationship and friendship is sex, and I can not stress enough how much I disagree with this.

The sex does feel quite distinctly forced on the PC at several points, and it's not good, really.

The start, while I understand that they're setting something up, is very off-putting, in the way it functionally asks you to define who or what you want to sleep with, as though that's a thing that will be true for everyone - the option to say "many different people of many different types", or the option to say "No-one, thanks", or, if you're a bard, the option to say "Myself, really..." (mostly joking there, sorry), would really help a lot. Also it seems odd that the bug presumably delves your mind to look purely and only for physical attraction features, because it wants to win you over - but makes no changes or alterations to how it tries to interact with you, or the sorts of things you like or don't - if it were a smart bug, it would look at what we like, and how we like to be treated, and the kinds of things we go for, and psychical appearance would be only one aspect of that... It's almost funny that it puts so much effort into trying to find the 'ideal visual appearance to entice with', and then, for a large majority of people, completely fails at the first hurdle of social interaction in every other way.

You are right, though; I'd absolutely support paths of dialogue in romance settings that let you decline actual sex, and focus on the intimacy of the moment in other ways instead, without cutting you out of or negatively impacting the romance overall, if that's what your character wants.

I absolutely support more asexual romance options in video games, but unfortunately I think the demand for such things is so small that it's not worth the time investment for a game studio. BioWare, the champion of romances for everyone, only created three romances (that I can remember) which didn't explicitly involve sex, but one of those did include passionate necking.

So far you can romance Shadowheart and Wyll without having teh sexy times - though it's sort of involuntary on Wyll's part, I gather - but I doubt it'll stay that way. Gale's romance is sort-of-but-not-really open to interpretation in that area at the moment (it may be less vague when construction is finished).

I dunno, since i dint even think about trying it ...
But isnt there option to "go sleep alone" ? And isnt that exactly what do you want? O_o

No, they're asking to have romance but not engage in sex. Basically, to be asexual but not aromantic. I think it is a fair request. Let the player always refuse direct sexual advances; you can roleplay if this is asexuality, or just wanting to avoid it until you have a relationship outside of deadly adventures, or so on.

Yeah but what about the characters who want to be sexual with you? If you keep rebuffing people who want to (eventually) get into your pants, chances are, they will move on to someone who will let them in.

Agree, I think it's small thing but really important. For me or for another people.
I wanna be able to show the character how important he is to me in other ways without sex-part, not like a friend, but like a couple.
Sometime romances were something unnecessary and small things too, but not now. I guess now it's a grand part of rpg, so why not add some details?
Btw Bioware's romances aren't so good, half of the romances are boring with gradation by race and gender, that's meh. I just wanna to have a choice, that's all
Dear Larian, I really like ur games and I think u move the game industry forward. U r very attentive to little things and that's really good! U r doing great. <3 Love u so much!!

Now all the RO in BG3 directed towards sex...Sex is important thing but so is chemistry between partners.
And yes, games aren't meant to reflect reality. In the real world, a person can refuse you for a variety of reasons, such as hair color or pineapple allergies. But why bring this into the game??

Larian has already redefined its approach to Shadowheart (for example) making her personality much softer and less toxic. So I hope they listen to asexuals and allow them to ignore sex without giving up romantic relationships.

Skip cut scenes. I certainly admit there can be 1 asexual character, but definitely not everyone. Why? Because their desire may be part of their personality, on first impression Astarion and Lae are very horny. Even if there are no specific cutscenes with sex, conditionally in romance line it will still be written.

Shadow changes are also terrible...

A romantic relationship isn't about sex alone. This is mutual trust and respect above all.

I'm not saying that writers should completely rewrite the personality of all characters and forbid them to somehow express their horniness. It would just be great to get at least one line of dialogue that allows you to give up intimacy, but not end the romantic relationship. It's all.
Im not asking to direct new cut-scenes according to my preferences or introduce new characters. Just one line of dialogue. All. This will be enough to start.

I may be misremembering but I was under the impression that Larian said that we will be able to romance without any sex whatsoever in the final game? As I said, I may be wrong, but I thought that I remembered that around the time they confirmed that there will be romances at all, they also confirmed that sex won't be a necessary part of romance.

In Layman's terms, (by how I've been reading this) everybody trying to friendzone the game but nobody wants to get friendzoned themselves.

I agree, however the way you look at it is utterly self-centered.
Sure you don't want to have sex, and that is perfectly fine, but a relationship is not about you it's about the other person. And the other person must feel the same way about you (ideally). Why would someone stay with you if they want to have sex with you, but you don't want to have sex with them? If you never have sex that means you get your way a 100% of the time and they get their way 0% of the time. It means that THEY are willing to give up a great deal for you, but you are not willing to do the same. That's a very one-sided relationship.

That being said I am absolutely in favor of an asexual romance option, however I don't think any of the characters should be forced into being in a relationship with you if they can't get with your ideas.

I mean some characters won't be satisfied with "just hugs". They need more, they can't just be horny and be satisfied with just your hugs or trust and... other u know. Well, they can, it's a game, but it just looks bad for their personality, that's all.




I've never seen it before. They said only that romance depend on MC personality, not on gender and race. (wuts work rly bad with 2 xenophobes in our pt)

OP has a valid point lads,

If all the companions have no preference on race or gender then why not implement a non saucy relationship? I understand if it wont "suit" the character and maybe I'm not suggesting making all characters have that option but why not give certain ones that?

since there are new companions that have yet to appear it might be worth suggesting! :3

I can see this as an option in case of some specific new companions

I have nothing against it, I mean BioWare already did it with Sebastian in DA2, who only had a kissing scene at most if I recall correctly.

Im affraid i dont see the difference ...
All i have seen so far was about friendship, helping each other, etc. etc. wich they want ... and then there is optional sex scene wich they dont.

It just seem logical to me to either skip it, or simply dont start it. O_o

Or do they simply demand replacement of romantic scene instead of sex one? O_o
Sorry but that seem odd, i dont say that there is anything wrong about it, but im kinda affraid that we are encouraging ourselves into too deep waters ... shall larian add another "kinky scene" for people who thinked that this one is on the contrary not sexualized enough? :-/

There allready is a way, use it or leave it. :-/

Sebastian is mostly who I was thinking of earlier. One of the few things about DA2 I really liked.

OTOH most people seemed to hate him, so maybe not a good example for Larian to follow

I assume in the actual game, every companion wont randomly, out of character and nonsensically offer sex at the end of act 1. I'm assuming that's just an EA, look we have this in the game not an indication of how the actual game will approach companion romantic/friendship relationship arcs and if so then this won't be as much an issue as it stands now.