GlanceALot...
I still like it, but I think you lost some of the urgency from the first draft. For me, a fight scene is all about taking the reader on a breathless ride - forcing them to read faster and faster in an agony of suspense as they wait to find out how (Or IF) the character survives <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
It certainly reads better and more clearly in terms of your choice of words and descriptions though - so, overall, both a plus and a minus <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Fight scenes are amongst the hardest things to get right though, so please don't be discouraged <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Hope this helps <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
