@ DQueene: no opinion is un-solicited, otherwise I would not have posted a question here. However you flipping back one (1) page and reading the two parts in context may broaden your impression significantly and allow you to offer a more than humble opinion by a "professional reader" knowing the whole text in question!?
"The voice": Yes, I have seen the film - and read the book - and...
...this triggers an intriguing question: What's "the tone of voice" in telepathy? Are there, could there be, any variations in tone?
I mean - I did not do it on purpose, but is not DQueene's impression of an un-emotional, factual "voice" exactly what it should be? Or at least, what would be expected?
Or - in DQueene's own words [color:"orange"] that almost emotionless voice? That is how it translated in my head as I was reading it [/color]- it DID convey a picture! And not necessarily a wrong one. OK - she doesn't like it - but the lack of feeling is still a feeling the writing triggered in the reader.