i'm sorry to be so selfish in my earlier post to ask if anyone has heard of anything bad about me. actually i shouldn't do that.

@janggut : No problem. It's natural to me wanting to know what people talk about my self. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

I have experienced mobbing at school - so I almost always expect some sort of gossipt about me ... it's like swarms of flies flying around me ... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> I don't care nowadays. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

@ Egin -> i know the feeling of being ignored at times

Welcome to the Club ! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

@ Al
"Healer" is a totally different thing than "Cleaner"
You can be a "Healer" as much as you want (I permit it to you *Luc laughs with her "dimocratic" behaviour*). Stay a "Healer" not a "Cleaner" please. A "Healer" is pretty much needed and in my opinion this is a role that suits you better

Thanks. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

P.P.S. Alrik~, I deduced that you were off topic...

Okay, here's something serious.

Personally, I partly feel actually responsible to get this community "up and running". I think that this forum needs people who take care on the community.

Currently looking for ways how to express what I mean ... I partly feel guilty because I feel responsible for this forum but couldn't do anything.

The reason is clear : I never got any news about this "affair". I was never involved.

But nevertheless I feel as if I should've acted - because I feel responsible.

My ratio says to me that I should feel guilty because I have failed. My intuition instead says to me that I shouldn't because i couldn't do anything - because I didn't know.

I think it's something I've got to learn. Watch Star Wars Episode III and you'll learn a bit more about manipulation of people.

P.P.S. Alrik~, I deduced that you were off topic...

That's the role I play. I feel responsible for this forum, so I take the role of a jester, fool, clown, off-topic - poster whenever I feel tension increasing. It's my way of trying to keep this community alive, to keep it "up & running".

I actually might appear as a fool sometimes. I often place posts that say nothing except jokes, just to keep the morale high, and not to let "bad vibes" grow up.

I have read that in some north american native tribes jesters, fun-makers, clowns are even sacred. They have an important role to play within their society. A role that has been partly forgotten some countries.

I see the role of a fool essential to a community - not too much, not too openly, but very subtle. I play for the community service.

I know that this might create a false impression of me. Some people might see me as a weak person, then, not capable of doing other things than ... being a fool.

However, I've learned that sometimes it might not be good to calm down tension. In this discussion it might well be tht it was necessary that the tension built up - for clearing. Every volcano must erupt some time when the tension is too high. Then, for the next years after that eruption, it might be safer to live there. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

As a last word, I'll quote a saying I have recently read in a totally different forum (there was a discussion about friendships) :

"A close friend might also become a close fiend."



When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.
--Dilbert cartoon

"Interplay.some zombiefied unlife thing going on there" - skavenhorde at RPGWatch