Lol reading through this It sounds fun I shall try something similar with my D2 play through, also
You also die by the dragon rider just outside the first town, but techially your ressurected so it doesn't count by your rules lol or does it? but the comment on the divine death, it's technically a ritual and your also ressurected as a new so it's like a new person but not..... complicated stuff and so on and so forth

"So you take an Apple and a Pineapple, smash them together, and you get a 'Pin-apple' My dear sir!"
Warning, Spoiler:
Behold the glory of Lord Pin-apple peasant! \:D