This point was raised during the Kickstarter. Anyway, iirc you can play in any of the 4 combinations: m/m; m/f; f/m; and f/f.
However, I seem to recall there was one caveat for multiplayer: if the hosting player has a m/f setup and a second player "drops in", (s)he may well end up playing a female ("second player" cannot change his assigned character).
And a final note to the OP: it's your choice, but I think you're missing out on some great games – Beyond Good and Evil, The Longest Journey, A Dance with Rogues and Demon Heart (both NWN1 mods) all feature female protagonists.
