I was taught French at school. I was rubbish at it. Je n'aime pas... er... une bi鑽e, s'il vous plait, and stuff. Somehow I've managed to get away with it when visiting France. I've no idea how.

I was also taught German at school. By a German. I also lived next door to a German. My cousin is German. But I'm rubbish at German.

I was taught English at school. An English school. In England. By an English teacher who was English. I'm English. I was born in an English town. And I'm rubbish at English too.

Some of us just have no aptitude for languages. Or anything else, in my case.

Vom, proudly inept.


J'aime le fromage.