Im not gonna debate wether or not kiting is a sensible combat strategy in real life. This debate has become silly enaugh
What i mean by only getting one AoO is that in most DnD editions (that have AoO) you only get one Attack of Opportunity per turn, in 3E you could take a feat that increased the ammount of AoOs by your dex modifyer, in 5E your AoO is your reaction, you only get one reaction per turn, which makes it even worse than the original rule from 3E since you cannot use your reaction to do anyhting else.

Yes turn order is an inherent feature of turn based systems, also a good one because you can play around it. It makes initiative matter more and you can deliberatley delay your turn to set up plays. Its nuance missing in other systems.

Obviously a turn based game isnt going to FEEL like RTWP, but it can emulate all of its features, theres no feature RTWP has that cannot be done in turn based.
The opposit is not true.

1) How much there is in the game for the player to learn, and
2) As you learn and gain deeper understanding of game mechanics, when you actually apply all that knowledge, the combat consistently gets more sophisticated, exciting, and rewarding.

How does that not coincide with commitment to actions?
You will need to learn what your enemy is capeable of doing on his turn, you cannot react immediatly, thus you need to know what kind of options the enemy has.
For what its worth, your definition is not what i would use to discribe what "Tactics" means.
What tactics means to me is that you have a limited ammount of options to take and have to use the correct options to beat the encounter, while you fail when you use the wrong ones.
In a game like lets say Skyrim, you have almost no options, you can hope that the enemy health bar depletes before yours does.

Im also ot saying that you have absolute controll over what happens in RTWP; the chess analogy was obviously en exagrated one. But my point about movement isnt wrong is it. And yes, i did play several old infinity engine games aswell as NWN 2 which last time i checked was RTWP too, aswell as Dragon Age Origins and Inquisition (tho the latter bareley is RTWP as the tactical camera is basically pointless)

Encounter design: you are not wrong that this is an encounter design issue, but RTWP so far has led developers to employ this kind of encounter design because it blends better.
Filler encounters are a way of padding the game, in RTWP, players find this acceptable, in turn based they dont as it gets boring.
Also XCOM is older than Baldurs gate so that argument doesnt count.

On AI: no? My point is that making the computer check every second rather than every turn doesnt make it smarter, it just does the same thing more ofthen.
Its descision making progress isnt any more advanced.
by your definition, the WoW AI would be a golden glorious god of AI design.

And yeah, if you base my opinion on RTWP games based on what mods ive installed, well idk what to tell you honestly. I like to play my games vanilla and the only mods i tend to use are those that enable a higher resolution. Modding comes for second and third playthrough and i dont have time for that with most games.