1. Choosing to serve the illithids/absolute seems like just a "perfection" suicide with nothing to gain.

Joining, what basically seems like a suicide cult or a cattle pen, isn't IMO something any character I'd like to roleplay would choose.

2. Submissive romances/relationships force you into the dominant role(as always in RPGs).

Romantic/sexual interests(at least if they're women) that have some dominant tendencies in the game are at times way too fragile and eager to let the PC to take the reins and help/guide/save them. This shoehorns you into a dominant position in relationships(like prompting Lae'zel to speak to her kin at the bridge encounter and influencing her in ways that keep her from getting herself killed) regardless of any token submission you may choose to exhibit in the sack or otherwise.

The promise of being led to death is reason enough to follow.