i dont think you got the idea, at least of many of the people complaining.
If you provide new mechanics, that de-legitimize the basic mechanics that game is supposed to be representing, then you can expect people to not be happy with it.
Why would you want to brand yourself with DnD if you plan do dumpster that stuff and do your own business. DOS2 was a perfectly fine game. But if you called DOS2 "basicly DnD" its a big hell no. This is not DnD.
Obviously creating a PC game of a pen and paper game you need to make some adjustments. Sure. But if you tweek beyond reason or even break so many things you reach the point where its not reasonable anymore to call it like this.
Then stop and think what effects would be had if you hurled fire at someone?
well if its a sticky burning liquid hitting you directly it might be an issue. But honestly... running over a ground burning from like 400ml of oil in full armor? no problem at all. You wont even feel it.
Or a flaming arrow setting you on fire? Honestly? take an old jeans. or if you have a gambison. Pull your Deodorant or hairspray and flame throw that thing for 5 seconds. it is not going to burn. Haven't you ever being a kid created some sort of little gas puff where your eyebrows got burned? a brief burst of flames does not set the world on fire.
So why is everything burning like gasoline or even explosive? Because in DOS2 everything is burning like gasoline and explosive. It is totally unnecessary. There are options to set people on fire in DnD but in BG3 EVERYTHING that is remotly a flame sets you on fire. And you claim realism?
Why would you need to buff all this stuff so hilariously that it makes no sense to use my sword anymore. In DnD5e there are alchemist fires. Use their rules. They can even set you on fire. They do 1d4 fire damage if they hit. Each turn they dot and you need to use your action to stop the fire. here we go. This is DnD fire it works fine compared to weapons.
DOS2 fire is: everyone gets to AOE set people on fire, doesnt even need to succeed a hitroll anyways and leaves a burnt area dealing even more damage plus setting other flamables wich are freaking everywhere on fire plus blocking passages. At this point its not "bringing in options". The option is there already in DnD. Its making options the developers want you to take so drasticly overpowered and obvious that its not increasing flexibility. Its a railroad. Its "here. take these 10 casks and alchemist fires and make a big bummbumm. thats what we want you to do".
How about shoving. In DnD there are options to shove. You can shove somebody as an action with a athletics check for 5 feet. also some classes like the battle master get to combine it with their attack. So yeah. In DnD u can absolutely shove people off cliffs if you give up your damage. If you feel this option is more valuable than striking with you flail.
In DOS2 you permanently shove or displace people. So what happens: You get to shove as a bonus action. You can get multiple bonus actions and shove multiple times. Even low STR chars for some reason can easily shov enemies. You can shove people for hilarious distances. You can shove with arrows. You can shove with explosives. They want you to shove shove shove. Its not about getting an option again. The option is there in DnD. Its about making it overpowered so you shove shove shove. Its a railroad.
And those are things that are not typical for DnD but for DOS hence why people feel that this is more DOS3 than BG3.
The only reason those actions and options, that exist in DnD, are so prominent is because they got buffed beyond sanity because the developers want every battlefield to be ruled by setting the world ablaze and shove shove shove. Because its a DOS/Larian signature feature wich they like. The list is countless. Having problems going where you need to go to shove shove shove. No problem, get a free disengage as bonus action you can even use to get through (over) your opponents.
Like... how can one not see that
And that is the points. It IS the mechanics making the game feel not like baldurs gate. Because in Faerun its fighters being legendary heroes, fighting at expert skill with their swords. Its mages casting spells, sending fireballs. In BG3 its everyone being a freakin alchemist setting everything on fire with big explosions and kicking enemys 20 foot away like a dang frost giant. This is not DnD flavor combat. This is DOS flavor combat. Wich again is not necessarily a bad thing. But it is not the feel that DnD provides so it should not be in a DnD game.