The original post perfectly mirrors my feelings as well.
DOS2 is a great game. BG1&2 are great games.
Don't try to force the DOS mechanics into a D&D game. Don't try to inject the more light hearted cartoony DOS feel into BG3. These two franchises are fundamentally different and should maintain their own identities.
Sometimes in an RPG it's more important to create a world that feels believable and real rather than having a million fun overpowered things to do every turn in combat. This is true with the Baldur's Gate games. D&D 5e is quite enough to offer a fun and satisfying tactical party based combat experience. Beyond that, focus entirely on atmosphere and story.