I find it more that there are 2 groups of people that are very vocal and angry if you don't share their opinion (kind of like real life). 1) People who played DOS/DOSII and think that if this game has even 1 similarity it's DOSIII, not BG3. 2) People who think that if it deviates at all from 5e, it's garbage.
IMO, its totally BG3 and close enough to 5e. It was promised as an "adaptation" which is a word many including OP need to lookup. There are still many things that need fixing and improving, but IMO few relate to DOS or 5e.
Very much this. "Adaptation" does not mean "exact copy".
The problem with that position is that there is a better adaptation of the rules out there -- Solasta -- and the adaptations have caused problems (some of which you've identified).
So the question is will Larian listen or try to cure this sickness with the hair of dog? Say bolstering the scared flame cantrip? Increasing the damage fireball does? Further bumping up the average number of enemies the spell 'sleep' knocks out? If so then you get even further from the rules and the new problems emerge.
Also, the game is riding on the coattails of a game that had a very strict "adaptation" of the rules and criticisms like this go with the territory. Larian wouldn't have sold X number of copies of DOS3, the extra sales numbers came from the BG name and the D&D ruleset. If you get to direct one of the Star Wars sequels you aren't evaluated on the basis of "is this a good sci-fi film?" but "is this a worthy successor?" "did they get the tone right?" etc.
Solasta is not a "better" adaptation of the rules, it is simply a "different" adaptation applied to a very different game. What works in actual application for one game is not determinant of what works in another. There are vast differences in characterization, builds, story-telling, target audience, and numerous other aspects, between BG3 and Solasta. Each will stand or fall on the particular mix used in THAT game - and should not be construed as determinative of what works best in the other.