But that defeats your own argument. If its is about power fantasies and pleasing the player then all characters should be romanceable. If some are not because if doesn't fit their character, well thats the exact argument why they shouldn't be playersexual. It does not fit their character.
But if you're intentionally setting out to make the romances playersexual from the beginning, then you can write the characters in way that it does fit their character. Which is what Larian is apparently trying to do. Whether or not their writing holds up is another matter.