A good roleplayer don't expect a setting to adapt to him instead design a character whitin the setting. Pretending to change and destroy extabilished lore in a setting for the sake of inclusivity at all costs ruins a setting. I am sorry i keep repeating myself but.
Elves in Forgotten realms are pretty well described. They are part of that setting. Pretending them to become humans with pointy ears harm the setting therefore not only detstroy the unique race they represent but is also a split in the face to who created the setting.
A thing is a base manual of D&D and using that one can craft his world and his setting where elves can be however they want. Another is expecting a setting to morph and trow away extabilished lore for the sake of nothing. ((is also why the 4th edition failed so miserabily))
I will always be for artistic integrity first. If a player comes to me and say: I want to play in a forgotten realms but i want my elf to be this and that not reflecting the source material.
I will answer: Then we have another option here we play on a homebrew setting.
The setting is important for roleplay is the base of a believeable world and also the base of Roleplay. If you ignore the setting then you don't know how to roleplay
Instead of crushing the Extabilished Lore. DO create new one not touching what is already there. That is the best solution.